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The Theory of Relativity was developed by Albert Einstein to explain the unexplainable shortening and lengthening of rulers in the presence of a gravito-acoustic magnetic field released by his mind. This field alteredtime and caused things to dilate, like pupils, and probably killed the dinosaurs. There are two main theories, one with a slant towards the shortening and lengthening of rulers, and the bending and curving of space-time according to Scientologists.
Gravity won't stay away from John Mayer, and likewise would proceed to curve his space-time and make his watch run slower, and if he were accelerated in space, his energy would increase, pretty soon becoming a flaming ball of gas.
In Conclusion The Theory of Relativity states that time is malleable in the hands of God Almighty. In Einstein/Colbert's famous equation, they prove that God exist. If our reality is dominated by time, and time is to equal money. And God can control time, it only means that God speeds time up for us to get MORE money. Thus the birth of capitalism and the downfall of communism. Eat it Marx!!!