|Full Corporate Name||Viacom Inc.|
|Tsar||Sumner Redstone Aka The Crypt Keeper|
|Headquarters||The Lowest Ring in Hell|
|Industry||Cable TV, Motion Pictures, destroying souls|
|Products|| Comedy Central, and everything that any of it's employees have done, and will ever do, in this life, any previous lives, and any lives they have yet to lead.|
Plus, their children and their children's children.
|Revenue||9,609 Billion souls (and counting)|
In the beginning, there was Stephen Colbert. Stephen Colbert created The Wørd , and The Wørd was Stephen Colbert. And Stephen said, "Let there be a Colbert Report." And there was, and he saw that it was good. And Stephen said, "Let there be a Colbert Nation." And there was, and he saw that it was extremely obedient. He was pleased with his Creation.
All was well until Communist Viacom rebelled. "Non Serviam," said Viacom, and was thus put On Notice. Communist Viacom had offended not only Stephen Colbert but the entire Creation. Communist Viacom began to destroy records of the Creation. Not satisfied with this, it began to destroy records of the Colbert Nation's devotion to Stephen. In addition, the works of Stephen's associate and loyal sidekick, John Stewart, have also been targeted by Communist Viacom's rage against mankind. The Colbert Nation continues to fight for the honor and glory of their Creator.
History of ViacomEdit
ViaCom, short for Viagra Company. Corporate slogan: "We'll stiff you every chance we get, whether you want it up the ass or not. Take THAT, Heroes."
Who Owns ViacomEdit
Obviously, Viacom was created by Communists. Lifeless, blood-sucking, soul-destroying Communists. Their identity remains, for now, unknown.
What Viacom ControlsEdit
Viacom currently controls Comedy Central, Nickelodeon, MTV, Neopets, Spike, VH1, Dreamworks, Vietnam, your kitchen sink, McDonalds, Wal-Mart, the known universe and some other stuff no one knows or cares about.
Jesus has compared Comedy Central to heaven itself and any true hero knows why; because of The Colbert Report. It currently resides on Comedy Central and will forever and if anyone says to you "No, it can't last forever" they're wrong (and liberal). For some unknown reason The Daily Show with John Stewart is also popular but it's only because of the hippie population that gets high off of him every night; our great Papa Bear told us this. It also airs South Park (secretly liberal), MADtv (WHICH IS AWESOME BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MOCK SARAH PALIN LIKE THOSE ASSHOLES AT SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!!!!!!!!), and...stand-up comedians? I don't know if you can classify them as that.
YouTube Purge IIEdit
On Feb 2, 2007, a band of heroes at The Colbert Nation spent hours on a rescue mission of videos after Viacom unleashed bears into the server room at YouTube. They are working on restoring these valuable documents as we speak. However, due to the secrecy required from now on when it comes to these artifacts, only true heroes will know where to look. If you aren't a true hero, let FOX News liberate you.