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The Viacom

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Viacom
Viacumde3
Full Corporate Name Viacom Inc.
Tsar Sumner Redstone Aka The Crypt Keeper
Founded 2006
Headquarters The Lowest Ring in Hell
Industry Cable TV, Motion Pictures, destroying souls
Products Comedy Central, and everything that any of it's employees have done, and will ever do, in this life, any previous lives, and any lives they have yet to lead.
Plus, their children and their children's children.
Revenue 9,609 Billion souls (and counting)


In the beginning, there was Stephen Colbert. Stephen Colbert created The Wørd , and The Wørd was Stephen Colbert. And Stephen said, "Let there be a Colbert Report." And there was, and he saw that it was good. And Stephen said, "Let there be a Colbert Nation." And there was, and he saw that it was extremely obedient. He was pleased with his Creation.

All was well until Communist Viacom rebelled. "Non Serviam," said Viacom, and was thus put On Notice. Communist Viacom had offended not only Stephen Colbert but the entire Creation. Communist Viacom began to destroy records of the Creation. Not satisfied with this, it began to destroy records of the Colbert Nation's devotion to Stephen. In addition, the works of Stephen's associate and loyal sidekick, John Stewart, have also been targeted by Communist Viacom's rage against mankind. The Colbert Nation continues to fight for the honor and glory of their Creator.





History of ViacomEdit

ViaCom, short for Viagra Company. Corporate slogan: "We'll stiff you every chance we get, whether you want it up the ass or not. Take THAT, Heroes."

Who Owns ViacomEdit

Obviously, Viacom was created by Communists. Lifeless, blood-sucking, soul-destroying Communists. Their identity remains, for now, unknown. Viacom2

What Viacom ControlsEdit

Viacom War against You(tube)

Viacom currently controls Comedy Central, Nickelodeon, MTV, Neopets, Spike, VH1, Dreamworks, Vietnam, your kitchen sink, McDonalds, Wal-Mart, the known universe and some other stuff no one knows or cares about.


Comedy Central

Jesus has compared Comedy Central to heaven itself and any true hero knows why; because of The Colbert Report. It currently resides on Comedy Central and will forever and if anyone says to you "No, it can't last forever" they're wrong (and liberal). For some unknown reason The Daily Show with John Stewart is also popular but it's only because of the hippie population that gets high off of him every night; our great Papa Bear told us this. It also airs South Park (secretly liberal), MADtv (WHICH IS AWESOME BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MOCK SARAH PALIN LIKE THOSE ASSHOLES AT SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!!!!!!!!), and...stand-up comedians? I don't know if you can classify them as that.

Viacom attacks Colbert

The tragic scene at YouTube moments after Viacom broke into YouTube's server room.

YouTube Purge IIEdit

On Feb 2, 2007, a band of heroes at The Colbert Nation spent hours on a rescue mission of videos after Viacom unleashed bears into the server room at YouTube. They are working on restoring these valuable documents as we speak. However, due to the secrecy required from now on when it comes to these artifacts, only true heroes will know where to look. If you aren't a true hero, let FOX News liberate you.

See AlsoEdit



CorporateFlag
MarchingWorkers
The Viacom
has been granted full United States "citizenship"
for their donation to Republican causes.
America thanks you, The Viacom

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