"The Twitter"
Is an essential component of's Internets Tube for Nerds

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I Twit, Therefore I am
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~ Stephen Colbert
September 30, 2010

Retired Florida Senator Bob Graham's incessant scribbling in his pocket notebooks may have inspired The Twitter.

The Twitter is a new internets technology/application that allows people to upload into the tubes detailed reports about every damn thing they do.

It was co-founded by Biz StoneEpisode #535 when he got bored with another job and decided to slack off.

Almost like a cross between social networking sites (eg: MySpace) and public email, The twitter was invented with Attention whores in mind so they could input information they imagine someone would be interested in.


An example of a "tweet" from Robert Byrd.

Each individual entry posted on one's twitter page is called a tweet. Twittering in the past tense is twatting as in I have twatted.

Dr. Colbert has decreed that the name "twitters" can apply to Indians employed by explorers of the Amazon rainforest who carried messages back to civilizationEpisode #529.


Twitter Movie Trailer Rated Awesome 202:41

Twitter Movie Trailer Rated Awesome 2

Twitter: The Movie

The Right Way To TwitterEdit

  • telling everyone what you're having for lunch
  • telling everyone that you've just evacuated your lunch
  • telling everyone that you're being raptured

The Wrong Way To TwitterEdit

Despite corporate sponsorship and using corporate-owned internets tubes, in June, 2009 Iranian revolutionaries subverted The Twitter from innocent descriptions of one's daily life to one that allows hippies to get information past government laws.

As a "news" sourceEdit

God did not design The Twitter to be used in this manner and Americans everywhere are calling for the criminals to stop bypassing the reasonable laws set forth by Iran's ruling council and go back inside their home and watch Iranian Idol or Iranian puppets making crank calls. But, most importantly for the women to keep their clothes on.

Twitter TwiviaEdit

Golden Tweet

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

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