Stephen's Book Club has determined that The Positive Effect of Stephen Colbert's Voice on Ficuses is one of the rare books not destroying America and has spared it from the flames.


Published by Large, Small & Intestine

The Positive Effect of Stephen Colbert's Voice on Ficuses is a research paper documenting Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA's studies of vocal influence on common household plants.

In a series of many thousands of double-blind experiments, Dr. Colbert conclusively proved that ficus americana are sentient because they grow better when he talks to them. Through extrapolation, Dr. Colbert posits that an ear of corn therefore needs must have a better chance of forming a coherent thought than a shrimp does. This is the crux of the Colbert Designed Intelligent Principle.

Animal apologist and bioethicist Dr. Peter Singer has demanded that Dr. Colbert publish his documented findings in a peer-reviewed scientific journal. But the paper has already been published in the one place where it matters most: Stephen's gut.

See AlsoEdit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.