The following program is brought to you by
bringing All-American subsidised entertainment (Thank You Florida!) to American homes every election cycle since September 12, 2001.
"Path To 8-29: Swimming To Houston" is a mini series documentary about the heroic rescue of all the people from the Mississippi Gulf Coast region by the Bush Administration before Hurricane Katrina made landfall in August of 2005.
This Disney film is based on the Congressional Report that was convened within 24 hours of the passing of the storm and in no way distorts the real historical and recorded events to appease Disney's masters in Florida.
The film begins in 1996 when, as Governor of Texas, The Greatest President-to-be realizes the destructive power of the seasonal satanic water beasts and commissions a study to see how government can help people. However, the Texas Hurricane Commission Report was only used in Texas. The Greatest President pleaded desperately to have it adopted nation-wide but was rebuffed. He vowed to one day become president so that it may be implemented and save people lives.
The film then jumps forward to the hours immediately preceeding Katrina's landfall, when The Greatest President is seen running toward New Orleans holding a gigantic umbrella, thus blocking the venerable city from the bulk of the storm. Behind him are his entire staff, including Condoleeza Rice who braved the storm to hold a finger in the 17th Street levee to make sure it wouldn't breach preventting Katrina from damaging anyone's home, sacrificing a brand new pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes.
Hate America Firsters have complained that the film blames Bill Clinton for the entire debacle. If they could just stop apologizing for Bill Clinton, they might be able to see how he failed his country at their hour of need.
After seeing a preview of the film, the Emmy voters have saved a 2007 award for the mini series.
Timothy Bottoms as The Greatest President
Heather Locklear as Condoleeza Rice
Tom Selleck as Michael Chertoff
Rick(y) Schroeder as Michael Brown
Brad Pitt as Bill Clinton
Angelina Jolie as Monica Lewinsky
Harvey Feirstein as Barbara Bush
Kelsey Grammer as the narrator
Directed By: Karl Rove
Written By: Frank Luntz
Music By: Ted Nugent and Toby Keith and Megadeth
Costumes By: Colleen Atwood
Special Thanks To: Lenny Kravitz, Slipknot, Trent Reznor, The Foo Fighters, and their Management Teams.
- "The Path to Slavery Never Happened"
- "The Path to 11-7 "