Abandon Truthiness All Ye Who Enter This Internets Tube!
"The Microwave Oven"
discusses one of the Liberal's Magical Machines.
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has placed
The Microwave Oven
on The Colbert Report's Shelves of Honor
DrSpencer microwave inventor

This man invented the microwave oven. He had an itch. An itch the microwave did nothing to cure.

The Microwave Oven - Great invention of the 20th Century, or Greatest invention of the 20th Century? That's a hard call, seeing as the 20th Century also gave us the TV, the eBay, the Internets, and the TiVo, all of which are highly useful technologies for obtaining information and/or stuff related to Our Glorious Stephen and The Colbert Report. So I'd have to say that the microwave oven (often called simply "the microwave") is probably among the merely Great inventions.

Status GrowsEdit

However, the status of the microwave oven (often called simply "the microw") has risen considerably of late. Why, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked that. The microwave oven has been gaining ground in the minds and marketshares of heroic Americans' consciousness because it has twice been featured on The Colbert Report in relation to Stephen Colbert's pundit swap appearance on The O'Reilly Factor.

America Feels The MicrowavesEdit


Stephen demonstrates the use of the microwave oven for his audience.

The microwave oven (often called simply "the mike") made its first appearance on The Report on January 18, 2007, when Stephen placed onto the Shelves of Honor a microwave oven he had stolen earlier that day from the Fox News green room. This microwave was clearly meant to be a gift to Stephen from Papa Bear, stolen given as a token of appreciation for the fine work Stephen did on both The Factor and The Report that day. To celebrate having his accomplishments in the pundit swap, and to show his own appreciation for Papa Bear's many gifts, Stephen used the microwave to indelibly etch the memory of that night on a DVD.


The Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation donates a microwave to the Fox News green room.

America Is ReheatedEdit

Microwaved dvd

What happens to a DVD in a microwave?

The second appearance of the microwave oven on The Report came on January 30, 2009. Though honored to have stolen accepted the green room microwave when visiting Bill O'Reilly's show, Stephen admitted that he hadn't been feeling too great about it lately. No doubt this feeling stemmed in part from the fact that the microwave was such a surprise to Stephen that he had not seen it coming, and thus he hadn't had time in advance to get Papa Bear a stolen microwave in return.

This didn't seem fair to Stephen, or balanced, so he decided to replace the microwave from the Fox News green room with a brand new model. This new microwave has The Colbert Report logo boldly emblazoned across its front. The new green room microwave is a top-of-the-line 500 Watt, One-Touch Defrost beauty, with seven different popcorn settings. Now, Greta Van Susteren will no longer have to come by The Report to heat up her Ramen Noodles.


What happens to an Al Franken doll in a microwave?

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