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The Knights Templar are an order of warrior-monks, the Shaolin of Western Civilization.
The Order was formed by two Frenchmen (back when the French were willing to stand and fight) to secure the Holy Grail from the infidel hordes who had overrun the Holy Land. The Knights Templar were given the sacred duty of protecting the Holy Grail over the centuries until it could be bestowed upon The Chosen One, George W. Bush, as prophesied by the 12th century scribe Richard de Cheney.
In the early 1300's the organization was dissolved by Papal edict. This was merely a cover story. In reality, the Knights continued in their mission, going underground to fight crime with cool gadgets and to have sex with incredibly hot women.
Stephen Colbert - Knight Templar?
Knights Templar are guardians of Christianity and Western morals. They are speakers of truth and fighters for justice. Many of them were of French ancestry. Which sounds a lot like a certain late night beacon of superstantiality. So, is Stephen Colbert a member of this secretive organization?
He won't say. But by employing The DaColbert Code, we may be able to find out:
Stephen Colbert... Colbert Nation... National Velvet... Velveeta Cheese... Cheese sandwich... Sandwich Islands... Islands in the Stream... streaming video... video jockeys play music... music makes you boogie... Boogie Nights... Knights Templar!
Holy Crap it works!
Stephen Colbert is a Knight Templar.
The White House Correspondents Dinner - A Secret Meeting?
The following is merely speculative. However, it certainly feels right in the gut, and that's where it counts.
In 2006, Stephen was a featured speaker at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner.
Why would Stephen choose to appear in this humid sauna of liberalism and homosinuality? Because the President, George W. Bush was the honoree.
Appearing on the dais at such an event with Mr. Bush may have provided the perfect cover for Stephen to pass the Holy Grail on to the President.
- Tek Jansen - Knight Templar of the 25th Century