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The Homeless

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Stephen Colbert Clean up
ATTENTION
Stephen is personally watching
The Homeless
to make sure it is not edited
by people who hate The Truth™.


Even in todays economy, The Homeless are just like "homeful" people except for that they are lazy, without a place to live, and coincidentally enjoy the great outdoors. The homeless are that way because they want to be. In addition, it is no coincidence that a proportionately high level of homeless people live in areas where there is also a proportionately high level of unemployment. This truth just reflects the laziness of the general population.

Who Are The Homeless?Edit

PeterSamuelsonEDAR

A former Lehman Brothers financial analyst.

As previously mentioned, homeless people are generally that way because either, they would rather ___ than live in a house, or because God wants them to be homeless (see: Natural Disaster or Lehman Brothers).

Gypsies

Hippies

Raging alcoholics

Investment bankers

Financial analysts

Who Aren't The Homeless?Edit

In America Veterans are one segment of the population that has never been and remains today in no danger whatsoever of ever becoming homeless.

"Papa Bear" Bill O'Reilly has personally assured us of this, much to the despair of the adulterous John Edwards.

Reasons for HomelessnessnessEdit

Not surprisingly, the main reason for homelessness is also the chief cause for unemployment (and countless number of other societal ills), that's right, laziness.

People do not become homeless from things such as the lack of affordable housing or ________, but rather they do so because they are too lazy to _______, _________, and ________.

Final Solution Of The Homeless QuestionEdit

CentralCityEastAssociation

Caption

Perhaps America can solve it's hunger and homeless problems simultaneously. No, I am not talking about gingerbread houses.


Creative HomelessEdit

While the homeless may be lazy, one trait they do not lack is creativity. Homeless people are legendary for creating unique signs to make homefull people part with their spare change. If only we could find a way to harness this collective creative energy.

Jubs for HomelessEdit

One brilliant republican has found a solution to end the homeless problem, help them run for office as a third party to bring more eccentricity into the ballot!

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

Are Homeless America's natural resources?

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