Dr. Noelle Bush wrote a prescription for
"The Full Cheney"

There's plenty more where that came from...

The Incredible Ticking Man

The Full Cheney is the process of having most, if not all, of your heart replaced or reconstructed by a team of skilled surgeons. Most recent recipients of the Full Cheney include comic Robin Williams, who had four operations done contiguously to replace or repair at least 2/3 of his heart. For an operation to be considered a Full Cheney, at least 50% of the heart must be altered by the surgical team in a single operation.

Pick n' Mix Your Surgery!Edit

The following is a list of parts that are eligible to be replaced or repaired under the Full Cheney Open-Heart-Surgery plan. Contact a hospital near you for the Full Cheney price list in your area.

  • Aortic valve
  • Mitral valve
  • Pig valve from previous Full Cheney operation
  • Bionic valve from previous Full Cheney operation
  • Any of the chambers or vesicles
  • Any pacemaker or artificial heartbeat regulator
  • Any of the supporting veins
  • Any form of bypass surgery surpassing a double-bypass
  • Repair or replacement of the ring generator that powers your bio-suit (normally offered under the Tony Stark package)

Due to lack of popularity, the David Letterman package has been discontinued.

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