The Fantastic 4 is a team of superheroes. Since the original four's 1961 introduction, the Fantastic Four have been a perfect example of the american family. Breaking convention with other comic-book archetypes of the time, they would squabble and hold grudges both deep and petty, and eschew anonymity or secret identities in favor of celebrity status.
During an outer space test flight in an experimental rocket ship to be used against the communists and Liberals, the Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Johnny Storm, & Ben Grimm are bombarded by a storm of cosmic ray-GANS. Upon crash landing back on Earth, the four astronauts find themselves transformed with bizarre new abilities. The four then decide to use their powers for good as Republican superheroes.
- Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards), a truthiness genius, can stretch, twist and re-shape any part of his body to inhuman proportions. Mr. Fantastic is dull as fuck".
- Invisible Woman (Susan Storm), Reed Richards' wife has the ability to bend and manipulate light to render herself and others invisible. She also has the ability to give men erections.
- The Human Torch (Johnny Storm), Sue Storm's younger brother, possesses the ability to control fire, allowing him to TOAST LIBERAL YUPPIES LIKE MARSHMALLOWS, as well as the power to fly. That little booger is obnoxious".
- The Thing (John Boehner), Reed Richards' college roommate and current house minority leader. They Had a Special Relationship. He was transformed into a monstrous, craggy humanoid with orange, rock-like skin and super-strength.