The Easter Bunny

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Baby Jesus
The Baby Jesus and The Baby Satan
are fighting over the very soul of
The Easter Bunny

"Bunny, you're doing a heckuva job."

Is He Good?Edit

The Easter Bunny is a powerful ally of Jesus and goes around giving kids chocolate on Easter. Jesus took this position after years of reflecting on the effects blood on a door post might have on children.

Originally worshiped by Democrats as an object of Spring fertility, the bunny was idolized by early tree huggers and druids for its ability to spawn young rapidly. However, as it was realized that idealizing great numbers of children in American families is not necessarily a good thing (since American children experience an enormous sense of entitlement, intending to market their parents and grandparents as soylent green) the bunny’s fertility role was re-focused to “egg hiding”, and the finding of those eggs considered a special achievement by approving adults.

Is He Bad?Edit

With a modern market supervised by the Energizer Bunny, the Easter Bunny has been transformed from a creature that delivers masses of "chocolate" droppings to one who dollips in various flavors. These attractive grape, cherry, green apple, strawberry, lime, lemon, and white (an un-flavor) balls are known for gassing a kid up and keep 'em going for hours.

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