God Touching Adam
"The Colbertitudes"
you have been touched in a very special way.

Based on Jesus' Beatitudes, The Colbertitudes originate from the Sermon on The Balls, from the Gospel Of Stephen.

The nine Colbertitudes are truthisms which succinctly define America and in latin translate to: having balls.


  • Blessed are the wealthy: for they own the kingdom of heaven
  • Blessed are they who see not the suffering of the underclass: for theirs are minds of such great beauty
  • Blessed are the humble: for they know how awesome they truly are
  • Blessed are the men who have everything: for they shall die with the best toys
  • Blessed are the ruthless: for they shall win
  • Blessed are those who come in the name of Stephen: for they shall inherit the earth.

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