The Colbert Report/Episodes/Season3/April

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Season 3 (2007) AprilEdit

# First aired "The Wørd" Studio guest Introductory phrase Prod#
238 4/9/2007 none Colin Beavan /
Katrina vanden Heuvel
"Christos Anestis!" 3045
Stephen welcomes Colin Beavan, patriarch of the eco-Manson Beavan Clan, who have given up almost everything in an effort to have no environmental impact on the planet. He also welcomes Satan's Second Wife, Katrina vanden Heuvel.

239 4/10/2007 Hip Replacement Jeannette Walls "Turn-offs: Phony people.
Turn-ons: People who watch my program. And sex."
Stephen welcomes Jeannette Walls, freelance writer and author of The Glass Castle: A Memoir, exploring her childhood with homeless parents.
240 4/11/2007 Season Pass Vali Nasir "The Colbert Promise: If you don't like this show, your money back. (Cable fees not included.)" 3047
Stephen welcomes the professor of Middle East and South Asia politics and author of The Shia Revival: How Conflicts within Islam Will Shape the Future, Vali Nasr.
241 4/12/2007 Body Armor Dr. Richard Land "Welcome to the Monkey House." 3048
Stephen welcomes the President of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission & author of The Divided States of America?: What Liberals and Conservatives Are Missing in the God-And-Country Shouting Match, Dr. Richard Land.
242 4/16/2007 Clean Slate Senator John Kerry "Some parts of tonight's show are void in Alaska and Hawaii." 3049
Stephen was fighting a cold and decided to share it with Taxachusetts Senator and author of This Moment on Earth: Today’s New Environmentalists and their Vision of the Future, John Kerry.
243 4/17/2007 Plan B Elaine Pagels "I'd never get a $400 haircut. I'd get $100 haircuts four times a week." 3050
Stephen provides more details about his adopted daughter Stephanie Colburtle the Turtle, threatens Sean Penn before the April 19, 2007 Metaphor-Off, wags his mighty finger and welcomes scholar and author of Reading Judas: The Gospel of Judas and the Shaping of Christianity, Elaine Pagels.
244 4/18/2007 Branding Paulina Porizkova "If you're watching from outside your coverage area, this is a $10 co-pay." 3051
Stephen welcomes supermodel, author, and wife of The Cars' Ric Ocasek, the lovely Paulina Porizkova.
245 4/19/2007 $400 Haircut Sean Penn "A dozen means 12. Learn to count, bakers." 3052
Stephen faces off against Hollywood liberal Sean Penn in the Metaphor Off!, hosted by former US Poet Laureate Robert Pinsky.
246 4/23/2007 none Mike Huckabee, Russell Simmons "The weather's warmed up, and I'm showing some skin." 3053
Stephen welcomes hip-hop mogul DJ Mike Huckabee and author of Do You!: 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success, Russell Simmons.
247 4/24/2007 Act Globally Dr. Andrew Weil "Happy 2nd anniversary Pope Benedict XVI. You'll always be Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger to me." 3054
Stephen welcomes the author of Healthy Aging, Dr. Andrew Weil.
248 4/25/2007 Sacrifice David Walker "They found a new Earth-like planet! Drive that Hummer all you want." 3055
Stephen welcomes the head of the Government Accountability Office David Walker.
249 4/26/2007 Mending Wall Tom Wolfe "Happy National TV Turnoff Week, you hypocrites!" 3056
Tonight, Stephen welcomes author Tom Wolfe.
250 4/30/2007 none Bill Bradley / Neil deGrasse Tyson "It's the last day of April. One more month 'til Speedo season. Do your squats!" 3057
Tonight, Stephen welcomes former New Jersey Senator and author of The New American Story, Bill Bradley. Plus, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson will help Stephen plan his conquest of New Earth.

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