The Colbert Report/Episodes/Season2/January

< The Colbert Report | Episodes | Season2

12,423pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk0

Season 2 (2006) JanuaryEdit

# First aired "The Wørd" Studio guest Introductory phrase Prod#
33 January 9 Nancy Grace "If beauty be Truth and Truth beauty, then I look fabulous tonight." 2001
Stephen shows footage of his "appearance" on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, in which he is shot in the chest by O'Brien during a heated exchange about Rosa Parks; Stephen shows a clip from "Stephen Colbert's Hiphopketball: A Jazzebration". Michael Adams is put on notice and AP writer Heather Clark is declared "dead to me" for neglecting to acknowledge Colbert as the originator of truthiness.

34 January 10 Sleeper Cell Carl Bernstein "The Truth hurts; fortunately for America, I'm a masochist." 2002
Stephen congratulates Steven Van Zandt ("Little Steven") for the E Street Band being taken off notice; first appearance of Stephen Colbert's Balls for Kidz.

35 January 11 Whatever John Stossel "I got 99 problems, but the Truth ain't one." 2003
The Threat Down: dads; robots; Virginia governor Mark Warner; bears; and the Associated Press; Stephen places a piggy bank stuffed with one US dollar as a commitment to financing the war in Iraq.

36 January 12 Double-Stick Tape Dr. Ken R. Miller "I scream, you scream, we all scream for the Truth." 2004
Part nine of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Steve Rothman (D) of New Jersey's 9th District; Michael Adams gets a phone call from Colbert, who accepts an apology.

37 January 16 ¡Cerrado! George Stephanopoulos "Call me Fraulein Maria because the hills are alive with the sound of Truth." 2005
Movies that are Destroying America: Colbert condemns Walk the Line and Pride and Prejudice, but says, though he hasn't seen it yet, Transamerica must be a great movie, because it has "America" right in the title, and whether you're a man or a woman, it seems to have something for everyone; Homage to Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech, with a speech entitled "I Have a Dreamsicle," delivered in between taking bites of a dreamsicle, until he is suddenly stopped by brainfreeze, places unfinished Dreamsicle on bookshelf.

38 January 17 Old School Andrew Sullivan "Hey America, Nice Ass!" 2006
Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger: wag of the finger to Oregon for its physician-assisted suicide law, tip of the hat to the U.S. Supreme Court for upholding the law, so there will be fewer of those hippies from Oregon, "California's Canada." Second appearance of Wilford Brimley.

39 January 18 Smarterer Frank McCourt "I hope you brought a well-sharpened number Truth pencil." 2007
A Colbert Report Special Report: The De-Edumacation of the American Brainscape

40 January 19 Public See Nina Totenberg "Stephen Colbert is Cool." 2008
First installment of "Who's attacking me now?" with the Humane Society in response to Stephen encouraging people to hunt bears; Part ten of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Eliot Engel (D) of New York's 17th Congressional District, in which Colbert stuffs his face with breadsticks, repeatedly assumes Engel has accepted money from Jack Abramoff, and combs Engel's moustache.

41 January 23 Charlie Daniels David Gregory "I'm only going to say this once. (Lucky for you it will be rerun four times tomorrow.)" 2009
Hamas tops the Threat Down (and is subsequently put on notice) for "forming an alliance with bears" in a television show with which they are connected; after reading a study showing that a TV in the bedroom cuts frequency of sex in half, Colbert feels bad and makes it up to the viewers by reporting on the new Medicare Part D with the lights low and with lots of seductive innuendo. The gold fiddle in the episode is a reference to the Charlie Daniels song "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" and the Futurama episode "Hell Is Other Robots."

42 January 24 Chernobyl Robin Givhan "Pucker up America, because I'm going to kiss and tell... the Truth." 2010
Colbert debates President Bush's warrantless domestic spying program on Formidable Opponent; he catwalks as a model for Stephen Colbert's Scorn to welcome fashion writer Givhan; he apologizes to Hamas for falsely claiming they associate with the world's number one threat bears.

43 January 25 Remote Control Norah Vincent "There's a hole in every man the size of the Truth and I'm gonna jam it in there." 2011
Colbert takes credit for Stephen Harper's victory in the Canadian federal election (and thus "fixing" Canada); part eleven of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Bill Pascrell (D) of New Jersey's 8th District.

44 January 26 Wham-O Paul Begala "Let's change the world! But not the channel!" 2012
Russ Lieber accuses Colbert of never having been in the Marine Corps; first advertisement for the Colbert Cruise.

45 January 30 Abortion/Unscripted Annie Duke "I got my mojo working, mojo of course is what I call my assistant Monica Johnson." 2013
Colbert calls for a boycott of James Frey for upsetting Oprah Winfrey. Colbert celebrates the discussion of "truthiness" by Oprah and Frank Rich on her show, and by the hosts of Nightline. Colbert switched to the second Wørd "Unscripted" as he emulated George W. Bush's recent spate of casual appearances and launched into an "unscripted" question-and-answer session with the audience, which happened to feature an African-American, female, U.S. Marine and an Iraqi Kurd profusely thanking Colbert and exclaiming the greatness of America; "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger" included a tip of the hat to paleontologists who discovered the fossil remains of effigia okeeffeae, an ancestor to crocodiles, for disproving the "Darwinlutionists" who tried to claim that every kind of creature had evolved from monkeys; also a wag of the finger to the same paleontologists, who named the extinct species after Georgia O'Keeffe, whose painting scares the hell out of Colbert, instead of after Edwin H. Colbert, who originally found the fossils.

46 January 31 Jesi Dave Marash "America, be amazed as I bend this spoon by using the power of my hand." 2014
Colbert listens to the State of the Union address while doing the show; first appearance of "The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard." Colbert introduces his version of "what you need to know" news and mispronounces Senator Ted Stevens as Ted Williams, then laughs and says wish I could see it.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki