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The Colbert Report/Episodes/Season2/August

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Season 2 (2006) AugustEdit

# First aired "The Wørd" Studio guest Introductory phrase Prod#
129 August 1 Uncool Peter Beinart "The following program is rated 'T' for... This is The Colbert Report." 2097
The third installment of "Stephen Colbert's Balls For Kidz" teaches kids about carnivals.


130 August 2 Single Serving Linda Hirshman "Hey Mom, check it out! I'm on TV! This is The Colbert Report." 2098
Joe Lieberman did not "show up" for his interview, so Stephen takes calls from viewers instead. One caller complained about the "Wikiality" episode, stating he could not edit elephant because it was protected.
During the interview segment with Linda Hirshman, Colbert claimed that latchkey kids all grew up to be crazy, implying that he read it on Wikip*dia. Hirshman then said that if Wikip*dia didn't state such a thing before, it most likely soon would.


131 August 3 none Paul Hackett None 2099
Colbert Report Special Report: "War: What It's Good For". Russ Lieber come on again to whine about something. First installment of Meet an Ally: Palau. This is the first episode that has neither a Wørd nor an introductory phrase.


132 August 8 Ten-Hut! William Rhoden "We're reaching America's youth, nation! Check it out!" (The Baby Jesus then says from his high chair, "This is The Colbert Report!") 2100
Stephen projects the Connecticut primary result by projecting that Joe Lieberman will not appear on his show. Stephen gives interior decorating advice for the White House press room. First episode of the animated series Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: The New Tek Jansen Adventures.


133 August 9 Pencils Down Alexandra Robbins "Take the Colbert challenge, America! Sing the National Anthem to the tune of my theme song! This is The Colbert Report!" 2101
Stephen places Joe Lieberman's leather chair in the audience, saying he will always have a seat on the show. Stephen runs a campaign ad for Representative Tom DeLay. "Tip of the hat, wag of the finger": wag of the finger to the Middle East crisis for shortening President Bush's vacation; wag of the finger to Ford for recalling vehicles; tip of the hat to J.K. Rowling for possibly killing Harry Potter in the last book ("He's a witch"); wag of the finger to breasts for infiltrating the media during World Brestfeeding Week; tip of the hat to Hungarians for voting to name a new bridge the Chuck Norris Bridge, also suggesting it should rather be named Stephen Colbert bridge. Guest Robbins projects about being a douchebag.


134 August 10 Cappuccino Eli Pariser "The Colbert Report's terror level has been elevated to brown - someone spilled coffee on the chart. This is The Colbert Report!" 2102
Stephen shows the liquids that he always takes on airplanes, and suggests ways to cope with the new airline security regulations. Better Know A District: California's 6th District and an interview with Rep. Lynn Woolsey.


135 August 14 none Ramesh Ponnuru "This message is for my homies back in the hood: We're on for squash tomorrow morning at the club at 8:30. This is The Colbert Report!" 2103
There is no Wørd for the second time in five episodes (although, the opening headline is "Cease Is The Word"). Stephen laments the cease-fire between Israel and Lebanon, because "we are no longer on the road to World War III." Jon Stewart is added to the new "called out" board until Stewart's on notice card is ready - Stewart then shows up in the studio and he and Stephen discuss Jon's "feud" with Geraldo Rivera. After Jon apologizes to Geraldo, he is taken off the "called out" board. Stephen's Sound Advice: Protecting Your Online Identity.


136 August 15 Dumb-ocracy David Gergen "America, I'm throwing my arms in the air and waving them like I just don't care. I'm sorry, I just can't do it - I do care! This is The Colbert Report!" 2104
Stephen suggests the new name for the Saginaw Spirit hockey team's mascot - "Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle". Stephen also proposed the naming of a Hungarian bridge after him. In the "All You Need to Know" segment, he looked into the Mexican election counting crisis, and "all you need to know" is that the President will be George W. Bush. He called the interview with David Gergen, a moderate Republican, an interview with the Chupacabra.


137 August 16 El Comandante Morgan Spurlock "[quietly] If you can hear this you're too close to your television. {yelling} This is The Colbert Report!" 2105
Stephen showed a clip of Cuban president Fidel Castro and Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez together on Castro's 80th birthday (August 13). He quoted George W. Bush's intent that the US will go and help the Cuban people in a post Castro era, and cried, 'We are coming for you Elian!' Stephen's vote increased and he is officially past Chuck Norris in the internets voting to name a Hungarian Bridge after him. Dr. Colbert discussed East Germany's Olympic swimming team, the Wonder Girls, as you would wonder if they were girls.


138 August 17 none Neil Young "Time to take a half-hour break from rockin' in the free world. This is The Colbert Report!" 2106
No Wørd for the third time in two weeks. Stephen gives an update on the commando team he sent to rescue Stephen Jr. from his cage at the San Francisco Zoo. Stephen has an "I Called It!" balloon drop (similar to when he predicted the Oscars winners) for winning his October 26 "argument" with astronomer Neil deGrasse Tyson that Pluto should remain a planet. Tyson came back on the show to discuss the recent developments and helps Stephen trash-talk new planets Charon, Ceres, and 2003 UB313. Better Know A District: California Rep. Xavier Becerra.
139 August 21 Side Effects Geoffrey Nunberg "Could being a Nielsen family kill you? Watch the entire show to find out. This is The Colbert Report!" 2107
Stephen shows internets clips of him using a lightsaber that have had monsters and other things edited in by fans. Stephen then introduces the "Green Screen Challenge" - a contest for who can make the best video. Stephen reveals that he has an intern test everything he puts in his mouth. "Threat Down": Jimmy Carter, grass, orphans, food, and threats.


140 August 22 99 Problems Paul Krugman "I've got the truth on my side, it's one of the advantages of getting to pick first. This is The Colbert Report!" 2108
(no summary)


141 August 23 none Gideon Yago None 2109
A Colbert Report Special Report: American Pop Culture: It's Crumbelievable! Damian Kulash from the band OK Go comes on to discuss how and why his band circumvented the "corporate machine." Stephen shows a typical family and how cable television has destroyed their lives. As Stephen is lost in thought, Jimmy surprises him, "Oh hi, I didn't see you there" Stephen says.


142 August 24 Bad Boys Janna Levin "I still can't get enough of this (sound clip of last night's theme, 'It's crumbelievable!' plays) - This is The Colbert Report!" 2110
Georgia gets lambasted by Stephen for calling itself the "Peach State" when his home state of South Carolina "kicks Georgia's ass" when it comes to peach production. One segment includes excerpts from an episode of Morgan Spurlock's TV show 30 Days in which an apolitical slacker has to spend 30 days in the Colbert Report audience. The man becomes a Colbert clone and even starts giving orders to the staff until Stephen has him forcibly removed.

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