The Colbert Report/Episodes/Season1/November

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Season 1 (2005) NovemberEdit

# First aired "The Wørd" Studio guest Introductory phrase Prod#
10 November 1 Camilla-Mania Ken Burns "Is that Truth in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you?" 110
The Colbert Report Emergency Evacuation Manual; Showing of documentary made about his interview with Ken Burns; first appearance of "Formidable Opponent" - Stephen debates himself on the topic of charity.

11 November 2 Cat Bruce Feiler "A wop bop a loo bop a wop bam Truth." 111
Stephen delights in a correction by The New York Times stating they had misreported The Colbert Report's first episode's "Wørd" as "trustiness" rather than "truthiness," and provides "cat" as this episode's "Wørd" so the Times will have something easy enough for them to get right.

12 November 3 Shhhh!... Bradley Whitford "Get on your tippy toes America. You must be this tall to ride the TruthCoaster." 112
Part three of "Better Know a District" with Stephanie Tubbs Jones (D) of Ohio's 11th District. Included a proposed TV show called Judge Tubbs. Also read from The In-Box, and told us about an ongoing contest to guess what number he's thinking of. It's not: 7, 16, 111, 280 or 499. First time interview was conducted via satellite rather than in-studio; Whitford appeared surrounded by his Emmy awards, which Colbert suggested could fight his Emmy award.

13 November 7 Hoser Eliot Spitzer "Somebody get a bucket, I think I'm gonna Truth!" 113
Rioting Do's and Don't's; Colbert marks premiere of The Colbert Report in Canada by welcoming Canadians as fellow "it-getters"; bears, the soulless killing machines, top the Threat Down once again.

14 November 8 T.O. Catherine Crier "You want the Truth? You can't handle the Truth! But, I've got oven mitts!" 114
Stephen attacks bloggers for intercepting footage of him before he interviewed Bradley Whitford; Stephen played the recording of the telephone call he got from the man he called his mentor, Wilford Brimley; Promo for Yet Another Day.

15 November 9 Willy Loman Mary Roach "Everyone put your keys in the bowl, it's time for a swinging Truth party!" 115
Stephen replaces Scott McClellan with Terrell Owens's agent, to do a better job repelling questions at a White House press conference; Part four of "Better Know a District," with John Mica (R) of Florida's 7th District; another "All You Need to Know"; and a visit from the spirit of Jon Stewart, who tells us that the studio of the Report (formerly of The Daily Show) was built on an Indian burial ground.

16 November 10 Armistice Cokie Roberts "Hey Moondoggie, wax your board and catch a wave. The Truth's up." 116
Checked mail on The In-Box, replayed clip of his character Ching-Chong Ding-Dong, and solved all the world's mysteries with his word association system The DaColbert Code.

17 November 14 Testosterone Bob Kerrey "I'm fully dilated and effaced and I'm squeezing out a bouncing bundle of Truth." 117
Stephen paraphrases Country Music Award Nominees and places a chocolate portrait of Viggo Mortensen (bought on eBay) on his bookshelf to commemorate the 15th anniversary of the Internets.

18 November 15 The Orient Al Sharpton "Break out some vodka, some lime juice, and the facts. You're about to do an upside down Truthikaze." 118
Bring 'Em Back Or Leave 'Em Dead: Asian Edition; Formidable Opponent: Torture

19 November 16 Information Matt Taibbi "Get ready for authenticity, veracity, and verity. Someone's been reading a thesaurus." 119
Stephen adds pant cuffs to the "On Notice" board but has to move New York Intellectuals to the "Dead to Me" board to make room; Part five of "Better Know a District" with Mark Udall (D) of Colorado's 2nd District.

20 November 17 McConaughey Tim Robbins "Sharpen your carving knife and loosen your belt. You're coming over to my house for ThanksTruthing." 120
Colbert attacks Barney Frank for calling his show a waste of time.

21 November 28 Never Brian Greene "Go out ten yards then button hook to the left. I'm gonna hit you with a perfect spiral of Truth." 121
Stephen takes calls from "The Heroes"; Stephen Settles the Debate: Faith vs. Science.

22 November 29 Confidence Richard Preston "And they say the Truth still roams these very woods." (delivered with the studio lights off, lighting his face with a flashlight, using a creepy voice) 122
Stephen is brought to tears by the resignation of Randy "Duke" Cunningham. California's 50th congressional district is now "dead to him" and "Better Know a District" is now a 434 part series. Report is led in by the collapse of the Canadian Liberal government via a non-confidence vote. Also, he had a photo montage of Duke Cunningham's Things played at the end. First installment of "Was It Really That Bad?" on The Plague.

23 November 30 Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Katrina vanden Heuvel "Knock knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke." 123
Part six of "Better Know a District" with Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick (D) of Michigan's 13th District; First installment of "The Rest of the World in 11.6 Seconds."

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