The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 489

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
December 9, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode


  • Land of Stinkin'
"Illinois governor Rod Balgojevich is arrested on corruption charges! It's going to take a huge bribe to get him out of this one!"
  • Tricky Flick
"Then, I look at a new movie about Richard Nixon! It is a lock to win an Oscar, or break into the Academy and steal one!"
  • Charlie's Angle
"And, my guest is writer/director Charlie Kaufman! But, I've written all my questions for John Malkovich!"

Flag quote open clear2
I am calling for an auto bailout ... because I drove my car into a lake!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
December 9, 2008 The Colbert Report


  • Shocking news out of Illinois
    • selling Obama's vacant Senate seat
  • evidence is suspect
    • "I've got this thing and it's %@$ golden"
  • he could have been refering to anything
    • pawning wedding ring
    • golden retreiver puppies out of the trunk of his car
    • holding Rue McClanahan for ransom
  • Patrick Fitzgerald
  • facebook status
    • Rod is taking bribes
  • conduct would not make Lincoln roll over in his grave

Colbert Report TreeEdit

  • trucked from a courthouse nativity scene in Hoboken
  • Christmas meant one thing to Dr. Colbert
    • Nixon
  • powerful man
    • list of who's naughty and nice
    • little men who break in everywhere
  • Dr. Colbert thought "Frost/Nixon" was about Jack Frost teaming up with Nixon
  • played Jack something Nixon's chief of staff
    • they remained friends
  • as a Hollywood liberal elite, Bacon was raised hating Nixon
  • Nixon got paid $600,000 for the Frost interview
    • Bacon got a gift bag and vodak
  • Bacon helped trim the tree with Nixon garland
    • 18 minutes of erased tape

Tek JansenEdit

  • still not found a publisher for Alpha Squad novel
    • keeps adding to chapter
  • no publisher needed for Chapter 3
    • represent chapter 2
  • Young Tek falls to the ground
    • since it was not earth he did not die
  • he makes his way to Galaxy Plaza
  • Commander Joanna Valentine
  • Roxy Babylon
    • he graduated from the academy of her heart
  • Abraxxia destroys Galaxy Plaza Headquarters
    • Alpha Squad grief counselor
  • this Thursday (December 11, 2008) Dr. Colbert will present another exciting episode
    • It will be awesome


  • Charlie Kaufman
    • writer/director
  • new movie: Synecdoche, New York. based on a literary term
  • can be described using the words
    • "feel good"
    • "sassy (or sexy) chihuahua"
  • the word Synecdoche means: "a figure of speech by which a part is put for the whole"
  • his movies have a lot of thought in them
    • questionable if it is a good thing
  • not everyone lives in their heads
    • Stephen doesn't; he lives out on his face
  • Stephen doesn't react
    • keeps his heart in his gut
    • cannot be stabbed
  • Stephen likes "Death of a Salesman"
    • contains the line "man is not an orange," SC disagrees, if you squeeze a man hard enough, you can get juice
  • some people laugh
    • some people cry
  • people are dumb if they don['t get his movie
    • Stephen didn't get "Kung-fu Panda"
  • no one can be wrong watching his movie


  • Dr. Colbert concludes the show by placing the Nixon Angel atop the tree
  • he encourages The Heroes to go see both Frost/Nixon and Synecdoche, New York
    • specifically asking Academy members to sit through the credits to listen for a great song


This is an abbreviated gallery. For the full gallery, click here

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