The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 483

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
November 20, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode


  • Black & White & All Over
"Does the Obama Presidency mean the end of racism!? And if so, can I stop pretending to like Spike Lee movies!?"
  • Now, That's What He Calls Music
"And, I review the hottest new CDs! That's right: they're still making CDs!"
  • Meltin' Friedman
"And my guest New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman says we need a Green Revolution! Why doesn't he save a tree and stop writing!? "

Flag quote open clear2
It's my last show before Thanksgiving! So, I'm going to pardon my turkey! I'm puttin' part-in my stomach and part-in some sandwiches!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
November 20, 2008 The Colbert Report

Another Colbert TraditionEdit

  • This is the last show before Thanksgiving
    • gather kids around the barbecue and hold a mock trial for turkey
      • it's crime: succulence
  • not giving thanks for the election of Obama
    • he's not the voice if Stephen can't hear him
  • an age of new black leaders:
    • Newark Mayor Cory Booker
    • Alabama Congressman Artur Davis
    • Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter
    • Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick
    • Justice League President-elect Black Lightning
      • beat Aquaman after the failure of his slogan "Yes We Clam"
  • they all won because racism is over!
    • Racism 1776-2008
  • balloons are gray
    • with racism over this is the color we all are
    • much more attractive than the ones Dr. Colbert plans to use once sexism is over
      • witnessing the dropping of these balloons will require a poncho
  • Mayor Cory Booker rejects the term post-racial
  • he says America is not like Holland and Norway
    • where everyone smokes hash out of a herring bong
  • Mayor Booker wants to eat us
    • our delicious differences make us strong
  • Newark mayor Cory Booker
    • appeared on The Report to explain himself and roll Dr. Colbert in bread crumbs
  • Stephen honors him with a gray balloon of post-racialism
  • luxuriate in racial deliciousness
    • inviting Stephen in the hot tub of unity
  • Mayor Booker believes America shouldn't be a concert of one instrument, it should be a bunch of instruments playing one song
  • Mayor Booker believes America was founded on three ideas:
    • liberty
    • justice
    • inclusion of everyone playing a roll
  • original America
    • white land holding men who got to enjoy that idea
  • Dr. Colbert doesn't see Mayor Booker as black
    • Mayor Booker accused Stephen of being able to see color
    • Stephen corrected him: he can see red, white and blue, but only in the UV spectrum
  • Mayor Booker wants segregation
    • then backtracks and tries to say he wants America in a chorus of differences
    • and then a rainbow
  • Stephen enumerated all his comparisons:
    • delicious
    • like a chorus
    • like a symphony
    • like a rainbow
  • Stephen then reminded him that what makes a rainbow beautiful is the pot of gold at the end
  • he reduced murder and shooting by 40%
  • on his inauguration day, Mayor Booker and his security detail chased down a bank robber

Holiday Jam DrizzopEdit

  • Dr. Colbert reviews new albums for the holiday season
  • guidance about which ones to buy
    • Stephen will spread his Deejay-Naise, with the new segment:
  • Stephen Colbert's meTunes

John LegendEdit

album Evolver

  • not an hour-long pro-Darwin lecture, so sexy that no one could resist it's argument
  • contains songs featuring
    • Andre 3000
    • Kanye West
    • Brandy
    • Estelle (may have played "Sofia" on The Golden Girls)
  • single: Green Light
    • embraces product placement
      • not beauty shots of Snow Queen Vodak
      • the chorus, "ready to go right now," is also the new slogan for "Flomax"
  • Highest Rating 5 "Mes"

Tony KeithEdit

album That Don't Make Me A Bad Guy

  • single God Love Her
    • about a Preacher's daughter who runs off with a rebellious young man, only later to teach him about God
      • she is simply doing Missionary work, but not always in that position
  • in liner notes Keith thanks Jesus and Ford trucks
    • they're both tough, but only one of them can carry loose gravel in a reinforced steel bed
      • Jesus doesn't have the torque
  • Highest Rating 5 "Mes"

Guns N' RosesEdit

album Chinese Democracy

  • set to be released the same day as Stephen Colbert's Christmas Special
    • Axl Rose is trying to steal Stephen's thunder
      • he has been warned not to OD on that day
  • 50th backing track on the title song could use more reverb delaying it for another week more than 14 years it's already been put off
    • Brian Wilson might be able to help polish it for a few decades
  • Rating No "mes" for:
    • stomping on Stephen's special
    • and ignoring Dr. Colbert's suggestion to call the album "Chinese Dentistry"

Original Stephen Colbert SongEdit

Watch Stephen Colbert's Christmas, The Greatest Gift Of All
Premiering November 23rd at ten p.m.
on Comedy Central!


  • Thomas Friedman
  • book "The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-first Century" (Updated and Expanded)
  • "Hot, Flat and Crowded"
  • implication
    • population
    • environmental
  • the whole show was written by a guy in Bangalore
  • Stephen runs a body temperature, but not in Centegrade
  • Stephen prays
  • 1.3 billion emits an enormous amount of methane gas
  • next book "Hot, Flat, Crowded and Doomed
    • thinks it should be "Busted" instead
  • theory: China for a day
    • make a long-term plan for a green revolution
  • Stephen separates his trash and eats Kashi cereal


  • Dr. Colbert reminds the heroes that his new Christmas Special premiers this Sunday, November 23, 2008
    • the DVD is due November 25th
      • Yuletide fun for the whole family once you get past the 4 minutes of uncensored goat sodomy
  • the words goat sodomy get thrown around in this business
  • how to bypass the promos
    • Press next or chapter button 3 times
    • when you see a blue warning screen, go to the kitchen and get a snack
    • once you see Stephen, start enjoying your holiday
  • make skipping past goat sodomy a holiday tradition


Motherload VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

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Reviews and CommentsEdit


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