The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 482

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
November 19, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode


  • Baby, You Can Subsidize My Car
"U.S. automakers face bankruptcy! Which may explain those ads for the 2009 Ford Höbø!"
  • Will Blame For Food
"And, have we put too much faith in the free market!? And, just how much can I get for my golden calf!?"
  • System Of A Dow
"Then my guest Michael Lewis author of the new book 'Panic! The Story of Modern Financial Insanity'! I believe it's the biography of Jim Cramer!</i> "

Flag quote open clear2
Sarah Palin is getting a book deal! Which means Wasilla is getting a book store!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
November 19, 2008 The Colbert Report

The Big ThreeEdit

  • asks the mob what are you gonna do with all this joy
  • things are going terribly
    • truck mudflaps girls temping for extra cash
  • everybody knows when a ship runs aground, it's the barnacle's fault
  • until the automakers get rid of the unions
  • Mitt Romney says let Detroit go bankrupt
  • they won't go away
  • still have American made cars
  • Stephen's prototype is steered with your balls
  • America is in a bit of an economic pickle
  • cannot blame free market
  • four-way intersections would survive unregulated
  • Phil Gramm Nov 16, 2008
    • The markets worked better
  • no reason to start regulating and turn ourselves into Europe
  • Sarkozy says markets are crazy
  • Tonight's Word: Mad Men
  • delusional
    • American Psychiatric Association defines delusional
  • collective cultural belief unfettered free market will take care of us (Moneytheism)
    • not delusional, religion
  • belief in free market is a religion
  • no one can call us crazy and get benefits government
  • face wall street 6 times and pray
    • no god but alan, and his profits are more profits
  • Reagan will return

Vetting, Part 2Edit

  • Obama offered AG to Eric Holder
    • another pick from the Clinton Years
    • put Ross and Rachel in charge of DHS
  • Stephen has to be prepared
  • the exciting conclusion of Stephen's vetting
  • have you ever said or done anything that could embarrass the president
    • No
  • did you endorse president
  • express criticism
    • stephen promises to undermine him
    • actively work to
  • Prescott Group
    • aware of side effects
  • Stephen admits to the side effects
  • Stephen received 5 points for honestly
  • never purchased any illegal drugs
  • Stephen's College nickname: High Snow Lord Of The Blow Lines
    • snorting cocaine for charity
      • but did not inhale
  • own a gun
    • shares his life with a gun
    • in this country legally
  • Stephen a male prostitute
    • performed sex for pay
    • butt classy was his street name
  • hired to work for The Daily Show ended his life in prostitution
  • Stephen does a good "DeNiro"
  • Sloan took Stephen's cash


  • Michael Lewis
  • book "Panic: The Story of Modern Financial Insanity "
  • evidently they have the same financial adviser
  • he is suggesting that we panic
    • he's behind the curve
  • panic is rational, everyone is right to panic
    • Stephen loves rational panic
  • money surge
  • best way to prevent blaming the free market never happens again
  • Stephen never puts money in banks anymore, all in Krugerrands, baby
  • the plan to spend the $700B has changed many times since the bailout was given
  • 6 months from now, people will be blaming Obama
  • he compliments Stephen on his intelligence
  • Obama has to explain the problem and tell people there is pain
  • address the source of the fear
  • Stephen suggests America move to a fear based economy
    • admits we are already in a fear-based economy, proving Stephen is ahead of the curve


  • Remember if you miss any portion of this program, Stephen awaits your apology


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