The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 470

< The Colbert Report | Episodes | EpGuide

12,431pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
October 28, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit


  • Baked Alaskan
"Senator Ted Stevens is convicted by a jury of his peers! Wow, they found twelve corrupt senators!?"
  • Marx Brother
"Then, is Barack Obama a socialist!? I'm not sure, but the fact that I'm asking seems mighty suspicious!"
  • Sherman & Mr. Peabody
"Then, I sit down with Native American author Sherman Alexie! Nobody bring up how we ole-stay their andlay!"

Flag quote open clear2
The following was supposed to contain brief nudity! Thanks a lot network!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
October 28, 2008 The Colbert Report

A Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad DayEdit

  • it's been a long emotional day
  • Randy Cunningham was sentenced
  • God decided to send him a buddy
    • Ted Stevens was found guilty of 7 felony counts
  • Dr. Colbert is not crying
    • medical condition where water keeps falling out of his eyes; there is no cure
  • old trick Dr. Colbert learned during his modeling days
    • "Preparation H," de-puffs the eye lids
      • use a fresh tube
  • court claimed Stevens didn't disclose gifts:
    • grill
    • toolshed
    • new deck
    • sled dog
    • steel staircase
    • fish statue
    • mug that says "My other Mug is a fish statue"
  • he never asked for the gift
    • the gifts refused to grow legs and walk away, which worked in Beauty and the Beast
  • nothing is going to break this man
    • he has what it takes to be pardoned by President Bush
  • sneak out through the internets

Who is Barack ObamaEdit

  • Obama has been previously believed to be:
    • secret muslim
    • domestic terrorist
    • mothra
  • recently it has been discovered he is a socialist
  • McCain is targeting his most important voter
    • Joe, the McCarthy
      • people still love him
  • Palin warned:
    • you thought your stuff was "your's"
    • people will come to take your stuff
      • lick everything you own
        • riddled with Bird Flu
  • Barbara West nailed Joe Biden
    • asked if believes Obama is a Marxist; Biden asked if she were kidding
  • Dr. Colbert offered a joke so Biden will know what one sounds like: What does Karl Marx put on his pasta?
    • Communist Manipesto
      • once Obama becomes president, it will be the only joke we'll have
  • what's the real truth?
    • Socialist candidate for president, Comrade Brian Moore
      • nominee for president of the socialist party
  • claims Obama is not a communist
    • says he's a capitalist
    • Obama is not nationalizing the banks
  • says socialists want
    • wants the government to implement real nationalization
    • share a quality of lifestyle
    • want fairness, equality
  • wants workers to control means of production
    • workers will decided Dr. Colbert's PIN number
  • he believes calling Obama is misrepresenting the party
  • if he had his druthers...
    • he would have to share his druthers with everyone

Measuring The Suckiness Of CantonsEdit

  • America is faced with a decision
    • which city of Canton is the crappiest
  • John McCain visited Canton, Ohio
  • Canton, GA Mayor got angry
    • raise inbred children
      • or non-inbred children, they are very tolerant
  • meant Canton, Kansas
    • big fan of silt
  • Canton, South Dakota
    • real assburgh
  • meant to say Canton, Texas
    • remember the Alamo, but good god forget everything you know about Canton, Texas
  • you used to be the home of Hoover vacuum cleaners, even they thought your city sucked too hard
  • home of McKinley memorial
    • If Dr. Colbert had lived in Canton, he'd wished he'd been assassinated, too
    • where tombstones read "Best day of my life"


  • Sherman Alexie
  • author of Absolutely true diary of a part time Indian
    • a good another
  • statue of Christopher Columbus right outside his window
    • psychological warfare
  • Anglos forgive him for attacking the wagon trains
  • forgives him for Small Pox
    • Stephen asked for the blankets back, but dry cleaned first
  • misconceptions about Indians
  • his spirit animal is the squirrel
  • cannot talk to animals
  • 90% Native Americans are supporting Obama
    • no half left for Chickesaw
  • McCain head of Bureau of Indian Affairs
  • support for the good of everybody not just for their little group
  • didn't murder, only embarrassed
  • Dr. Colbert may have been silenced by Alexie's final comment


  • Dr. Colbert reminds America we only have 6 more days until the election
    • and for the liberals, he reminds them to buy their tickets to Canada


Motherload VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit


Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki