The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 469

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Previous Episode
October 27, 2008
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  • Red State Of Panic
  • Central Bark
  • Always Room For Cello

Flag quote open clear2
Hey, Dunkin Donuts! America does NOT run on donuts, you owe me a new gas tank!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
October 27, 2008 The Colbert Report

Eight Days OutEdit

  • Dr. Colbert is tingling all over
    • mistook menthol shave cream for shower gel
      • a bit frosty down south
  • McCain for got the meaning of quit
    • stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate
  • McCain has Obama where he wants him
  • McCain guarantees victory
    • declared it in Waterloo, Iowa
  • North Carolina is such a toss-up state, NBC declared it Virginia
    • on their map Alaska is south of the border, giving Palin more foreign policy experience because then she can also see Mexico
  • compared himself to the Gipper
  • the Gipper died of strep throat
    • McCain is usually out by the FBI warning, so he wouldn't have known the ending of that movie

Right wing nerd-herdEdit

  • Dr. Colbert loves a mob
    • nothing like 10,000 torch wielding peasants
  • "liberal intellectual Republicans" (?) wrote articles against the McCain/Palin ticket
    • David Brooks
    • Peggy Noonan
    • David Frum
  • the rump of a rural white is the tenderest part
  • Dr. Frankenstein is not in the GOP
    • now an analyst for FOX News
  • hunks of dead flesh hanging off the GOP monster
  • Noonan, the larynx, gave voice to the GOP
  • Brooks, the kidneys, processed the creatures waste
  • Frum, was the balls, based on his quote calling the Dems Nazis
  • the turn coats don't like who the monster picked as its bride

Alpha DogEdit

  • if you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas. If you lay down with Dr. Colbert's kind of dogs, you wake up with puppies
  • Mark Ciptak[1]
    • named his baby "Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak" behind his wife's back after they agreed on another name, "Mary Grace"
    • named the placenta "Lieberman"
  • his other kids' names are:
    • Meals On Wheels Ciptak
    • Please Spay and Neuter Your Pets Ciptak


  • Yo-Yo Ma
    • world renown cellist, but how good is he at Xbox Cello Hero?
    • is a genius, and superstar
  • Dr. Colbert conducted the interview with a baton
    • Dr. Colbert will take any phallic symbol he can get
  • Arthur fans may think of Yo-Yo as "Joe, The Cellist
    • candidates seem to be ignoring him
  • new album, "Yo-Yo Ma and Friends: Songs of Joy & Peace"
  • declared Dr. Colbert right and the maestro
  • he likes people and friends
  • his name means different things in different parts of the world
    • Jo-Jo
    • Yo-Mama
  • the west is winning the classical world!
  • no real American cello songs about driving around in pick-up trucks and kicking ass


  • "Panxolia"


  • Dr. Colbert thanked Yo-Yo Ma and his friends before saying good night


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