The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 464

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
October 16, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit



  • Plumbing the Depths
"I'll use a drain auger to snake out your u-trap!"
  • Sink And Destroy
"Then, I'll swipe out a tall, single-control lav faucet for a four-inch widespread set!"
  • Robert Greenwald
"Then, my guest filmmaker and political activist Robert Greenwald has gone to get the ball valve out of his truck!"

Flag quote open clear2
The show is 22 minutes, but let's round it up to an hour! That'll be $800!
This is
The Joe The Plumber Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
October 16, 2008 The Colbert Report

The Last DebateEdit

  • John McCain needs a game changer
    • master of changing the game!
  • Obama faced all the John McCains!
  • McCain offers a solution to people who are lsoing their homes
    • they can stay at the YMCA
  • this is no longer a game
    • these guys might be running for office
  • When it comes to cutting
    • McCain is like a brain surgeon form the 16th century
  • McCain shot down charges about his negative campaigns
    • if you do not say "yes" to town hall meetings, it forces your
  • true enemies of America
    • coimmunity grouops committing voter fraud
    • fabric of democracy is being destroyed by a ACORN
  • homeless people who vote under the name "Mickey Mouse"
  • McCain made some mistakes
  • Stephen knows Joe
    • fixed his toilet when he tried to flush a terry cloth towel down it
  • Obama has never visited south of America's border
    • if you exclude Kenya, Indonesia, Hawaii
  • McCain said he was not President Bush
    • they might not be you never see them together any more
  • many people believe it was a game changer
    • 87% of FOX viewers said McCain won the debate
  • Dr. Colbert called it now:
    • John McCain will be the next president of FOX news

Tooting One's HornEdit

  • Dr. Colbert doesn't toot his own horn, he's tried but he isn't that flexible
    • The Greatest Honor Not Yet received: his portrait in the National gallery
  • Treasures of American History
    • permanent value to the Nation
  • Abraham Lincoln's hat
    • where was the
  • Seinfeld Puffy Shirt
    • Washington's uniform
  • Declaration of Independence
    • very large
    • not in a National Treasure
  • Kermit the frog puppet
    • on TV, just like Stephen
  • has very happy news for The Heroes
    • National Museum of Natural History will formally accept the portrait
  • they are renovating
    • two years
  • grand re-opening
    • November 21, 2008
  • thinking of the best place to put it
  • Stephen signed some mysterious paperwork with a pen from Jefferson's desk
  • Stephen will stay young and the portrait will be old
  • Stephen got America something, and he says "you're welcome"
  • Stephen also added an authentic foot-sized interactive third dimension to the portrait


  • Robert Greenwald
  • originally went after Tom DeLay, now going after John McCain
  • what's his beef
    • investigating how many homes he owns
    • released his medical records
    • anger
  • he spreads propaganda
    • not factual
  • swift-boating John McCain
  • he is a liar, his films are lies
    • Stephen said it
      • it's out there now
  • doesn't do rumors
  • one guy looked at all his videos 33 million times
  • is a hit man and not interested in truth
  • has not spent one penny attacking Obama
  • The Lord of The Ring was an attack ad


  • Dr. Colbert wants to thank his staff and The Heroes, and himself.
  • they lacked a certain je ne sais quoi, (Dr. Colbert doesn't really know what that means)
  • the new portrait shows four Colberts the newest one holds an Emmy


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