Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
October 14, 2008
Production code:
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  • Long John Slanders
"Critics are wondering what happened to the old John McCain!? Wait a minute, there's an older John McCain!?"
  • Sarah Plain And Flawed
"Then, Newsweek publishes an unflattering picture of Sarah Palin! Luckily, Joe Sixpack is always wearing beer goggles!"
  • Nobel Savaged
"And, my guest tonight is two-time Nobel Prize winning economist Joseph Stiglitz! Ladies, control yourselves!"

Flag quote open clear2
They weren't booing Sarah Palin at that hockey game!
The crowd was just getting into the Halloween spirit, "BOO!"
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
October 14, 2008 The Colbert Report

Paul Krugmaqn Got A Nobel?!Edit

  • Dr. Colbert heard everything the mob said and gave them a hearty scream back!
  • Dow jumped 936 fell 100+ points, which means we are up 800 points if you don't count last week
    • JIm Cramer's staff sewed his head back together
  • Paul Krugman won a Nobel Prize
    • for looking like a Swedish Gnome
      • America comes up Short
      • Our Sick Society
      • Our Money Is Ugly
  • When Stephen throws up in his mouth, he calls it "Krugmaning"
    • Papa Bear handed him his ass during a debate
  • Transitive Property of Nobel Prizes
    • Bill O'Reilly has won Krugman's Prize

Palin's PointEdit

  • She asked who is Barack Obama?
    • 2 biographies
    • 25 debates
    • 20 months
      • Which ice cream is his favorite with Bill Ayers? Death By Chocolate By Association
  • America knows who John McCain is
    • not currently running for president
  • If you want to see the real McCain, put a baseball in his yard
  • McCain's ads prove we can stay below the lowest common denominator
  • clue: hen McCain referred to Americans as "prisoners"
    • he is telling us is a prisoner:
      • of the economy
      • of his own reputation
      • of Sarah Palin
      • of his own Machiavellian campaign staff
  • whoever is imprisoning him, he has to be freed
  • The A-Team of congressmen who remember the old John McCain
  • having a prisoner president isn't such a bad idea
  • he's saying we're all prisoners
    • of the money we lost
    • the war we're winning
  • 8 energy we consume
    • our worst fears
  • why shouldn't a prisoner lead us?
  • the next president will be a Prisoner of W.

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the FingerEdit

  • if it's true the pen is mightier than the sword, then Dr. Colbert's pen is a bazooka
  • Wag at Newsweek
    • unflattering close up picture
  • not mustache, blow back from her last kill
  • it is a slap in the face because it is unretouched, highlights every imperfection every human being
    • she is an angel from heaven to save McCain's campaign
  • Wag at election officials in some small town in New York
    • Printed ballots that read "Barack Osama"
      • their error: forgot his middle name: Hussein
      • didn't change John McCain's name to Barack Obama
  • Wag at Kitty Station Managers
    • $10 million dollars
  • America can save our economy
    • put animals in positions of power
      • Henry Pawson
      • Ben Bunnanke
  • it will be the most adorable financial disaster you've ever seen.


  • Joseph Stiglitz
  • two-time Nobel prize winning economist, when Stephen is done with him, he'll be begging for a bailout
  • hides how angry he is with Kurgman stealing his thunder
    • Stiglitz's theories are more interesting
  • he also worked on Al Gore's project studying climate change
  • may also be pissed off that Al Gore gets all the Nobel Groupies, a sub group of Stephen's Mob
  • has not won an Emmy
    • putting Stephen in charge
  • claims there is more to the economy than the stock market, the sexy number that tells us what's going on
  • expects worst to come
  • public-private partnership is not socialism
    • private gets the profit
  • the best move is to start a giant failing bank
  • Iraq can't fix our problems
    • it is the problem
  • John McCain is an innovative thinker who saw the Iraq war as the solution to this depression as WW2 was to the first depression
  • a lot of people made money off the war
  • shipping sand from Kuwait into Iraq


  • that's it for The Report everybody, good night!


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