The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 460

< The Colbert Report | Episodes | EpGuide

12,431pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
October 9, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode


  • Smear Talk Express
"How can John McCain win this election!? Two words: Colbert! Bump!"
  • Rock, Paper, Winners
"And, I look at this year's nominees for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! Congratulations, Captain! Suck it, Tennille!"
  • Everybody Must Watch Stone
"Plus, director Oliver Stone is here to talk about his new film "W."! I believe it is a prequel to Spike Lee's "X"!"

Flag quote open clear2
The names in this broadcast have been changed to protect the innocent!
This is
The Molbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
October 9, 2008 The Colbert Report

Rough Day On The Stock MarketEdit

  • can no longer afford a drum roll
    • dropped 678 points!
  • will face a new shortage
    • newspapers will run out of dismayed stock brockers
  • Dr. Colbert poses so New York Post can have some pictures
  • it will only effect you if you:
    • own a house
    • get paid in currency

John McCain's DebateEdit

  • rising cost of planetairum projectors
  • Michelle Malkin
  • Andy McCarthy
  • McCain needs to shape up or he will lose the election
    • reptilian James Carville hunts for wet dogs in a burning house
  • John should take a hint from his running mate and his mate-mate
  • Cindy McCain is so cold, eskimos have 150 words for her
  • Bill Ayers has been associated with Dr. Colbert
    • shot a member of his audience three times
  • David Gergen doesn't care about Obama's connection with Bill Ayers
    • dir center of public leadership, Kennedy School of Government
    • and lesbian meth king!
  • believes slinging mud is not a good way to win an election
  • believes people want to hear a positive message
    • McCain would get headlines if he said he is positive Obama is a terrorist
  • blames campaign staff and advisors
    • from Bush Administration
    • Republican party operatives
  • months of the campaign are the first months of the administration
    • can reflect on leadership
  • believes McCain should reign in Palin
    • mentioned audience members yelled:
      • "terrorist"
      • "kill him"
      • talked trash to a black cameraman
    • she speaks for people who have been ignored for a long time
    • she is a rabble rouser
  • Dr. Colbert says move the mudslinging to the Mexican Border
    • we could build an adobe wall in no time!

Who's Not Honoring Stephen?Edit

  • Yom Kippur
    • why the chosen people need a whole day
  • Who's Not Honoring Me Now!
  • MacArthur Foundation
    • Jazz musicians blow their money on heroin and berets
    • not genius level jazz if it sounds like music
  • Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
    • Stephen & The Colberts are not on it
      • forgot about Charlene
  • a judge called it the catchiest tune he ever admitted into evidence
  • Stooges have failed at many jobs, but have a great rythm section
  • Nepal
    • named another "Kumari" living goddess
    • passed over for a 3-year-old girl
  • Stephen has the 32 attributes of perfection, which include:
    • body like a lion
    • thighs like a deer
    • stay one night in a room with a dead buffalo and not get scared
      • he was in a frat
    • Also Stephen will not reach child-bearing age


  • Stephen saw it last night and is distributing it online
    • very even-handed left-wing nut-job
  • says the election should be suspended
  • watches FOX News
    • may appear on Bill O'Reilly's show
  • consider a war against Iran
    • maybe Venezuela too
  • Stephen likes Josh Brolin
    • very John Wayne
  • Stephen likes how it shows how Bush developed into a great man
  • Stone may be done in Hollywood
    • portrayed Bush empathetically
    • can't get a date in the 213 area code
  • Great movie or greatest movie
    • greatest movie ever about our greatest president!


  • bad news: good night.


Motherload VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit


Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki