The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 454

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
September 30, 2008
Production code:
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  • Pass/Bail
"Congress rejects the bailout plan and protects American jobs...their own!"
  • Run from the Border
"And, there's a new solution to the illegal immigration problem! Please say it's man-sized glue traps!"
  • Fire and Pain
"Then my guest, James Taylor has a new album of cover songs! I can't wait to hear him sing "Fergalicious!"

Flag quote open clear2
The days of Atonement are upon us! I apologize for being perfect!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
September 30, 2008 The Colbert Report

Dr. Colbert Looks At The Jew Year!Edit

  • Dr. Colbert opens by blowing the shofar!
  • Happy New Year
  • Chinese Year of the Rat
  • For Jews, the Year of The Brisket

America Is Still The World LeaderEdit

  • world markets all took hits
    • including Malawi, which started a market just so it could plummet
  • unprecedented crisis
    • Bush's legacy
  • Iraq, wiretapping, torture, Katrina are like paint drips
    • financial crisis is like painting the whole floor, can't see the other mistakes
  • Who can Bush thank?
    • Eric Cantor blames Pelosi
  • Nancy Pelosi made GOP vote against America's best interests
  • Dr. Colbert, angered by Pelosi, sent nuculer codes to Iran
  • Darryl Issa says America put a coffin on top of the coffin of Reagan
    • twice as dead
  • Who is in the top coffin?
    • Hoover? Nixon?
    • not Lincoln, he's is at Dr. Colbert's house
  • only cowards voted against the bailout

Democrats Lifted Ban On Offshore DrillingEdit

  • we are free from 1% of foreign oil 10-20 years from now
  • oil companies really love the earth, look at their ads
    • how many penetrate it?
  • Prescott Oil
    • explained how we can all do more for the planet
  • the more gas you buy, the more solved the problem is
    • riding bikes
  • Prescott Oil, Leave Us Alone, We're On It!

Tip Of The Hat, Wag Of The FingerEdit

  • Wag of the Finger:
    • New York Times
      • vowels are elitist only 6 of them and Y is a flip flopper
  • Tip of The Hat
    • Bette Midler
      • for killing off ostriches
      • taking her show to Vegas, which wastes more energy than any other city in the middle of a desert, next to Dubai
  • Tip of the Hat
    • Wall Street jag-offs
      • aliens are leaving America and returning home, making Guatemala is the land of opportunity
    • Jag offs, can pick strawberries
    • hedge fund managers can trim hedges


  • James Taylor
    • did not perform a Junior Walker song, "(I'm a) Road Runner"


  • the interview went a little long and there was no time for guest, James Taylor to perform, maybe next time.


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