Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
September 23, 2008
Production code:
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  • Bailing Wall
"The government wants to spend $700 billion to bailout Wall Street! What's the quickest way to set up a massive failing firm!?"
  • What Can Browne Do For My Show?
"And my guest, Jackson Browne is suing John McCain for using one of his songs! But, McCain has a very good lawyer: Sarah Palin's Shotgun!"

Flag quote open clear2
hey autmnal equinox, if the nights are getting longer, why is my show still only a half hour!?
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
September 23, 2008 The Colbert Report

This Weekend Senator John McCain And His Vice Presidential Running Mate, Who Am I Kidding?Edit

    • variety
    • music
    • comedy
  • Hollywood is not a soulless den of sin and sodomy.
    • It is a soulless den of sin and sodomy that has excellent taste
    • Stephen had to share his Emmy with his stupid writers
    • it's not fair, he lost to Don Rickles
  • anger is exhausting
  • one of Stephen's writers, Peter Gross, went to see Don Rickles in Las Vegas
    • Peter doesn't look like the guy from TV commercials
      • he was punished for this affront

We Are In An Economic TailspinEdit

  • wolf howling at our cardboard flaps

Stephen's Writer, Peter GrossEdit

  • likes Don Rickles more than he likes Stephen
    • if Peter was any stupider, he'd host the Colbert Report
    • Peter's resume is on craigslist he's tired of working for this a-hole
    • Stephen will read anything written on an index card

Campaign Theme SongsEdit

  • "Tippecanoe And Tyler Too"
  • "I Like Ike"
  • "Vote For Taft, He's A Human Raft"
  • In 2008:
  • Heart issued the McCain campaign a Cease and desist order in regards to their song Barracudda, which the McCain campaign used during the Republican National Convention in homage to Sarah Palin, who fishes for barracuda by shooting at them from a helicopter
  • Van Halen told McCain to stop using their song Right Now, after it was used during his VP announcement
    • the band said, "permission was not sought, or granted, nor would it have been given.[1]"
  • Stephen suggests McCain use public domain songs, such as:
    • Pop Goes The Weasel
      • conveys the idea that if he is elected, there is a big surprise coming, involving a bunch of weasels


  • Jackson Browne
  • Stephen is a long time fan
    • he dares deny John McCain use of his songs, just like the Viet Cong
  • he has a problem with McCain
  • he is selective with freedom
    • in favor of free love
    • not in favor of free use of his songs
  • not a fan of nuculer energy
    • believes it needs government subsidies
    • don't know what to do with the waste
  • his new album, Time The Conquerer
    • he disagrees with Stephen regarding how long we should be in Iraq
  • used rhyme as a weapon against Stephen's lack of a rhyming dictionary


  • Going Down To Cuba


  • Peter Gross believes Jackson Browne should win an Emmy next year.


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