Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
September 5, 2008
This is the second
Friday show ever!
Production code:
Next Episode


  • Old Man Winner
"John McCain accepts the nomination! Looks like he called the Republicans' bluff!"
  • Betterer Know A District
"Plus, remember the congressman who couldn't remember the Ten Commandments!? Good news--that's no longer the most embarrassing thing he's ever done!"
  • Paterson Springs Eternal
"And my guest is New York governor David Paterson! You know it's going to be a great interview because he has executive experience!"

Flag quote open clear2
Well, we made it through another presidential election! (looks off camera) What! TWO MORE MONTHS?!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
September 5, 2008 The Colbert Report

On The Road With Dr. ColbertEdit

  • St. Paul
  • New Orleans
  • Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport
    • Member of TSA to legally perform cavity search
    • apologizes to employees of Cinnabun, they should keep their frosting where people can find it
  • St. Paul
  • Dr. Colbert missed a great party
    • Palin had some monshiine made from distilled elk marrow
    • Mitt Romney let down a hair
  • come balloons are left over
  • St. Paul
    • Taste of the Yucatan at Tejas!

Recap Of The RNC's Final DayEdit

  • Lindsay Graham
    • utter a lie that has never been uttered before: thank God for Joe Lieberman
      • play Black Sabbath's War Pigs backwards
  • Cindy McCain
    • one of 7 stages that she owns
  • John McCain
    • may have a new stylist
    • more boring that watching paint dry, Dr. Colbert would know because he painted his screen so he didn't have to watch
  • gave the speech in front of another greenscreen, that people could use to put something more exciting behind him
    • Oetzie
  • John McCain is always prepared
    • met an pig at the Iowa state fair
      • on day one
  • protesters tried to disrupt the speech
    • the crowd chanted USA to drown out dissenters
  • Brit Hume reminded everyone of the potential disaster
    • mishap at Madison Square Garden
      • Dems nomintaed a balloon and dropped Jimmy Carter
  • Andrea Mitchell
    • was lost among the balloons

The Colbert Report Better Know A District UpdateEdit

  • Lynn Westmoreland
    • called the Obama's "uppity"
      • when asked to clairfy, he really meant uppity
  • Dr. Colbert proclaimed "What a cracker!"
    • Dr. Colbert's saltine has no intelligence
  • give it uppity to Lynn Westmoreland
    • replay his Better Know Footage from June 14, 2006
  • even after 2 years, still cannot name the ten commandments


  • governor of New York, it's been 100s of years, why can't we just call it "York"?
  • last time, the NY governor got into some trouble
    • nice to know him
  • nice guy
    • may have to crack a few heads
  • says Democrats have toughened up since 9/11
    • but not two republican parties
  • didn't want to sound like John McCain by answering a question with, "I don't know"
  • the basic difference between the party's messages
    • free market would kill health care
    • deficit
    • not helped businesses
  • believes the republicans were running Washington
    • Dr. Colbert doesn't know
  • they have something in common
    • They don't see race
  • legally blind
    • memorizes all his speeches
    • if Dr. Colbert had to memorize all his speeches, it would be "My fellow Americans, God Bless America!"
  • Spitzer promised to pardon all Stephen's tickets, would Paterson honor that promise?
    • He says he doesn't see "traffic"


  • as you no doubt guess the greenscreen footage of John McCain's acceptance speech is on The Colbert Nation web tube.
    • Dr. Colbert is off next week, go nuts!


Motherload VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

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Reviews and CommentsEdit


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