The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 444

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
September 4, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode


  • Street-Fighting Neighbor
"Hockey-mom Sarah Palin gives a rousing speech at the Republican convention! Though, she was given five minutes for high sticking!"
  • Convention-al Warfare
"And, the Republicans dish up more red meat! If you count human sacrifice!"
  • Paul Buster
"Then, former presidential candidate Ron Paul sits down with former presidential candidate Stephen Colbert!"

Flag quote open clear2
WARNING! I may contain more than a trace amount of nut!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
September 4, 2008 The Colbert Report

Where In America Is Dr. Colbert?Edit

  • Dr. Colbert loves to be where the news action is
    • was in St. Paul went to New Orleans
  • now, Dr. Colbert is stuck in the Atlanta airport
    • missed his connection, but the 3:14 is delayed
      • Neck pillow
      • cinnabun
        • he thiniks he might have diabeetus
      • souvenir he bought in New orleans: a voodoo doll of himself
  • Gettysberg with I have a dream and a swift kick in the balls
  • Mike Huckabee talked about furniture
    • school desks
  • Dr. Colbert finished a desk
  • Rudy's comedy routine about Obama
    • Rudy's "community organizer" bit cracks Dr. Colbert up
    • Obama's life exemplifies American Dream, also very funny
  • foreign policy experience crosses the border to buy fireworks in Canada
  • Joe Lieberman can be trusted to tell the truth about McCain's health, his head has been up his ass for the last year

Sarah PalinEdit

  • Sarah Palin talked about how she's qualified, by discussing her opposition to the Bridge to Nowhere
    • not principled, but polite
    • gave a great speech
  • Colorado blogger, "Draft Sarah Palin for Vice President"
  • discovered her in January, 2007
    • talked about a "we"
  • he blogged from his mom's house
  • may make Colbert For FCC
    • too big to help

Tip Of The Hat, Wag Of The FingerEdit

  • put your hand over your heart and repeat after me: I pledge allegiance to the Wag of the United States...
    • Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger, RNC Edition
  • Tip for Cindy McCain
    • fashion sense
    • wore a chroma key dress
  • Wag to sloppy sign makers
    • reminded people how old McCain is
      • "Raisin McCain"?


    • SUBLINK1
    • SUBLINK2


  • Ron Paul
    • a former Republican candidate who was not invited to speak at the convention, Dr. Colbert will ask him how he would have mocked Obama's service
  • may have a better chance in 2009
  • was stealing thunder from the RNC
    • Hurricane Paul
  • he would have had to given up everything he believes to play with the big boys
  • Republicans are known for their discipline
    • this is a war
  • didn't feel too bad about not being invited
  • raised serious cash
  • believes in Liberty
    • doesn't believe the government should have gone in to help Gustav
    • they try to take your gun as you try to shoot the flood
  • book: The Revolution
  • Dr. Congressman Mr. Ron Paul


  • Dr. Colbert signs off while eating a Cinnabun, but just as he starts to tell The Heroes who tomorrow's guest is, he has to go catch his flight!


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