Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
September 2, 2008
Production code:
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  • Veep of Faith
"Does Sarah Palin have enough experience to get me to talk about Barack Obama's inexperience!?"
  • It's Not Easy Being Greenscreened
"Then, my "Make McCain Exciting Challenge"! It's easier than my "Make John McCain President Challenge"!"
  • Tyson Knockout
"Then, I sit down with Laura D'Andrea Tyson, Barack Obama's economic advisor! That's right, I'm talking to an economist and it's not even sweeps!"

Flag quote open clear2
Shave and a haircut, nine bits--inflation!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
September 2, 2008 The Colbert Report

Live From St. PaulEdit

  • Dr. Colbert was in St. Paul
    • but everyone is in New Orleans
    • Geraldo shored up the levee with his mustache
  • The Colbert Report doesn't have a correspondent, but asked himself from four years ago to report from New Orleans
    • The Daily Show Senior Meteorologist, Stephen Colbert

The First Day Of The ConventionEdit

  • The GOP cut back on their convention, George W. Bush isn't coming
    • like a USC reunion, but OJ doesn't show up
  • Bush cannot be wrapped around McCain
    • It's McCain wrapped around Bush
  • Sarah Palin's oldest daughter's name is "Bristol"
    • Snack Chip
    • Toe Jam
  • it is sexism to say she is inexperienced
  • she fills McCain's gaps
    • she completes him
    • they have identical oil rig birthmarks
  • Tonight's Word: That's The Ticket
    • Palin also has space policy experience, due to the height of Mt. McKinley

Making John McCain ExcitingEdit

  • makes the hum of your refrigeration coil sound like Martin Luther King
    • final bunch
  • Japanese game show with lizards
  • surfing McCain
    • make McCain exciting, not make surfing boring
  • 1960's Batman episode
    • include mention of his P.O.W. experience
  • included a montage of all entries
  • Dr. Colbert concludes the segment by accepting Senator McCain's thanks on behalf of the whole Colbert Nation


  • Laura D'Andrea Tyson
    • economic advisor for Barack Obama, Dr. Colbert will ask if she's in charge of taxing or spending
  • she wore bold colors and will do so throughout the fall
  • wanted to talk about the Misery Index
    • typical democrats see glass half empty
      • she says the glass is 98% empty; denied the residue at the bottom!
  • 4,000 foreclosures
  • likes to talk about misery
  • claims Democratic President are better for the economy than Republican ones
    • The Mob applauded early
  • everyone does better under Democratic administrations
    • except the top 1%
  • believes the last 8 years has more weight than the last 2 weeks
  • she hates people who work hard
    • reassures them (Dr. Colbert) will do fine
  • the first time Dr. Colbert invited a guest to suck on his teat


  • if you go away for 23 and a half hours and come back, Dr. Colbert will be sitting right there talking to you!
    • are those your brains on the floor, or did he just blow your mind?


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