Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
August 13, 2008
Production code:
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  • Justice Got Served
"Scandal hits the Department of Justice! Turns out Ashcroft was lip-synching "Let The Eagle Soar" while it was sung by a less attractive Attorney General!"
  • A View To A Drill
"Then, will offshore drilling solve the energy crisis!? Or, should we wait for global warming to make everything offshore!?"
  • Meyer Beware
"And, my guest tonight is Dick Meyer, author of the book "Why We Hate Us"! If by "us" he means "him" and by "we" he means "me" I've got the answer!"

Flag quote open clear2
And Tonight's Colbert's Penny Pincher: If you're running low on milk, add water to yogurt!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
August 13, 2008 The Colbert Report

World RecordsEdit

  • an intimate gathering of truth seekers
  • Michael Phelps won more medals than anyone
  • total number of Colbert Report's
    • 435!
    • many said it was unbreakable!

McCain Can't Use A ComputerEdit

  • Cindy MCCain is half computer
  • TGPE only has to know how to press one button
  • McCain may have copied facts from Wikip*dia
    • President 404 Error: File Not Found
  • "country" and "nation" are interchangeable like "Sunni" and "Shia"
  • the internet is a creepy place
    • less creepy than Lieberman

Inspector General Said DoJ Played PoliticsEdit

  • shocked it's a federal offense to open other people's mail
    • Meg's grandmother says Happy Birthday!
  • "Not every wrong, or violation of the law is a crime"-Mukasey

Off Shore DrillingEdit


  • Dick Meyer
    • book: Why We Hate Us: American Discontent in the New Millennium
      • maybe we're not so into us
  • tries to connect little issue to the big ones
    • since 1970's respect Americans have for institutions
      • media
      • presidency
  • Stephen looks in the mirror all the time and likes what he sees
  • the hate is not a red-meat hate
    • mild allergy
  • lack of manners
  • Stephen was raised to say "sir" and "ma'am"
    • Sir, you are an idiot!
  • says "Get off my lawn" in his book
  • it is not rude when Stephen interrupts; it's his job
    • his NPR interrupts the show to ask for cash
  • difference between individualism, narcissism and selfishness
  • Jesus said, "I Got Mine, Jack!"


  • From WPRG, Channel 11, good night!
    • Tonight's goodbye was purchased on The eBay


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