The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 429

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
July 31, 2008
Production code:
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  • Green for a Day
"How to be environmentally correct! Step One: don't tell the environment it has a nice rack!"
  • Claws for Alarm
"Then, is eating lobster hazardous to your health!? It is if you neglect to kill them first!"
  • Buzz Buster
"And, it's Astronaut Thursday! My guest is Buzz Aldrin! I'll film my interview on a soundstage in Arizona!"

Flag quote open clear2
Frère Jacques, frère Jacques! Dormez-truth!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
July 31, 2008 The Colbert Report

Bad EconomyEdit

  • 2 quarters in office vending machine, Stephen bought a house
  • Starbucks cutting jobs
    • Barry, the barrista working at the Starbucks under Dr. Colbert's C-Desk.
    • Fred, the barrista working at the Starbucks under the other side OF DR. Colbert's C-Desk
    • Barry was let go July 31, 2008


  • U.N. is raising AC from 72 to 77 degrees
  • Brendan Koerner, Slate's originator of "Green Lantern" column
  • discussed complex issues with Dr. Colbert

Cheating DeathEdit

  • your test scores are in, and you are positive Me
    • kidney function is not a right, its a privilege
  • Lobster eating
    • parts may be poisonous
  • Prescott's Crustaceaa-Drine
    • acts quickly to calm
  • Side Effects
    • thorasic geysers
    • inability to breath on weekends
  • Mental Health
    • Montreal psychiatrists
      • Truman Show delusion
  • Prescott's Vaxaloon
    • makes you believe you're in another Jim Carey movie
  • Side Effects
    • rectal frosting
    • Arby's mouth
    • tennis scrotum
  • Swimming Saftey
    • wait 20 minutes
  • someone is pooping in our pools (The Poopacabra)
  • Prescott's Happy Splash
    • pure hydrochloric acid
  • Side Effects
    • petuitary ferns
    • skeletal xylophoning
    • teriyaki lung

industry leader in recall efficiency!



  • Dr. Colbert thanked guest, Brendan Koerner, who wrote a book, Now The Hell Will Start
  • and bumped Buzz's movie, Fly Me To The Moon, which will open August 15, 2008


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