Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
July 23, 2008
Production code:
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  • Suck Exchange
"How bad is the economy!? Well I'll give you my two cents, which used to be a dollar!"
  • Coffee Clench
"And Starbucks is closing 600 stores! Now what will all those barristas do before band practice!?"
  • Naseating
"Plus, I sit down with multi-platinum rapper, Nas! He may have street cred, but I have gated community cred!"

Flag quote open clear2
This is a no smoking building!
Then what am I doing here?!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
July 23, 2008 The Colbert Report

Starbucks Are ClosingEdit

  • as Dr. Colbert greets his mob, he finishes off his 16th cup of coffee (low foam)
    • ate his 12th cup thinking it was a cardboard and plastic biscotti
    • and he received a 17th grande triple shot whole milk latte
  • savoring it as news that Starbucks is closing 600 stores
    • Darfur doesn't make frappaccuinos

Money BusinessEdit

  • lending institutions named after characters from Hee-Haw
  • Dr. Colbert's investments
    • invested in old Playboys
  • Euro is worth $1.57
  • The five's new color: Amsterdamn hash-house indigo
  • Copenhagen criteria
    • list of standards for candidate countries
      • achieved stability...rule of law (?)
      • respect for minorities
      • functioning market economy
  • if America is rejected, sue for continent discrimination
  • stuck with universal healthcare
  • make smaller cars
  • change glasses
  • convert rage to ennui

Racism and MoveOn.orgEdit

  • Dr. Colbert doesn't see race, but he does see spin-off groups (Color of Change)
    • attacked FOX News with a protest and demands
  • Color of Change spokesrapper, Nas
    • MSNBC is a propaganda Pez dispenser
  • O'Reilly will pop a loofa off in Nas' ass
  • Geraldo used to rap under the name, MC 'Stache


  • Nas
    • streetwise rapper, known to carry a gun, Dr. Colbert will lob softballs
  • they sat on 20 crates containing the 620,127-signature petition
  • accused O'Reilly as saying things that are worst than anything any rapper has ever said
    • believes O'Reilly is afraid of him
  • wonders why guns found their way in his neighborhood when he was 17 years old
  • Dr. Colbert blames Bing Crosby when it snows during in late December
    • since he sand White Christmas
  • is not a gangsta rapper
  • Called Stephen a gangtsa host
  • wanted to call his album something, but wasn't allowed to
    • it is entitled "Untitled"
  • a disbelieving Dr. Colbert said, "Reggin, please!"


  • Sly Fox


  • Dr. Colbert thanked Nas and his record-player-spinner, who wore an Obama t-shirt!


Motherload VideosEdit

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