Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
June 9, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit

Dr. Colbert is excited about the temperature and how it is market driven.

He predicts temperatures close to 200!


  • Hill Freezez Over
"Hillary Clinton concedes defeat in the Democratic Party! And then announces she's running as a Republican!? (crosses fingers and mouths 'Please!')"
  • Southern Discomfort
"Then, controversy over a giant Confederate flag in Tampa! And excitement over a giant white sale over in St. Petersberg!"
  • Weiss Swapping
"Then, my guest, Phillip Weiss, says men are not instinctively monogamous! It's the follow up to his ground-breaking theory that the sun rises in the east!"

Flag quote open clear2
I always say, if you can't beat 'em, report 'em to Homeland Security; they'll beat 'em for ya!
This is
The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
June 9, 2008 The Colbert Report

Hillary Drops OutEdit

  • Stephen doesn't need a doctor with fancy degree to inject poison into his face
    • Dr. Colbert uvulates when he watched Hillary's concession speech
    • and when his kids were born
  • Hillary and Barack met at Diane Feinstein's house
    • taxing
    • spending
    • entertaining
      • water and comfortable chairs
  • The end of the Democralypse
    • deserves its own graphic

Speaking of the ElectionEdit

  • both are Yankees
    • McCain fought at Gettysberg
  • Stephen chokes up watching
    • Gone with the wind
  • larry The Cable Guy

Threat DownEdit

#5 Albatrosses!

  • Albatressbians flaunting sappho

#4 Naked People!

  • babies are naked too

#3 T-shirts!

  • in league with terrorists

#2 High-class vermin!

  • will follow NPR into the Hudson River

#1 Secret Negro Presidents!

  • Warren G. Harding
    • the "G" stands for gangsta!



Well, that's it for The Report everybody, good night!


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