The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 402

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
June 2, 2008
Production code:
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  • A Scott In The Dark
"Scott McClellan says the press didn't do its job in the run up the war! Why's he complaining!? They did his job!"
  • If You Are A Rich Man...
"Plus, I'll tell you the latest innovation in private jets! They put an actual "Sky Mall" on the plane!"
  • Surf On My Turf
"And, I'll talk to professional surfer, Jonathan Paskowitz! We'll use cool surfer lingo, like: "surf" and "board"!"

Flag quote open clear2
I saw Sex and the City! Spolier Alert: she picks the Vivienne Westwood dress! (mouths: "Oh my God!")
This is
The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
June 2, 2008 The Colbert Report

Opening StuffEdit

Obama Quits ChurchEdit

  • Leave your mind behind, this is The Colbert Report!
  • Barack Hussein Obama
    • he left his church of 20 years
    • Dr. Colbert read a statement from Trinity Church
  • America cannot elect a man who doesn't belong to a church, so Hillary it is!

Dr. Colbert's PrayersEdit

  1. thicker hair!
  2. heat vision!
  3. destruction of Hollywood!
  • Dr. Colbert prayed it!
  • what was damaged:
    • Inherit the Wind
    • King Kong ride (?)

God doesn't want monkeys involving into thrill rides

  • unidentified tour guide
    • wished for indescribable destruction!
    • she cannot get away; she's driving a tram

McClellan's New BookEdit

  • stabbed Bush in the gut
  • nothing important gets done in Washington
  • Tonight's Word: Media Culpa

Colbert PlatinumEdit

  • nothing is more important to Stephen than his:
  • family
  • friends
  • solid gold statues of his family abnd friends
  • Platinum members only:
    • if you only get necessary surgery, flip over to Wheel of Fortune
  • Servants quarters for airplane crews
  • $175 hamburger
  • video stamps


  • Jon Paskowitz
    • professional surfer
    • surfs while wearing a tie
  • made a documentary: Surfwise


  • Dr. Colbert discussed the Democrats rules committee decision on Saturday (May 30, 2008) how they would seat delegates from Florida and Michigan.
    • John McCain calls it a model for getting out of Iraq
  • lumberjack log roll to the death
  • Michigan and Florida, What would you have done!?
    • American's responded via videotape


Motherload VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

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Reviews and CommentsEdit


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