The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 395

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
May 12, 2008
Production code:
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  • Proof's In The Putin
"Vladimir Putin relinquishes power! Then immediately linquishes it back!"
  • Jet Lag
"Then airline are saving gas by flying slower! I'm saving time by flying private! "
  • The Wizard And Oz
"And, I'll talk to Mehmet Oz, author of "You, The Owner's Manual"! I hope I don't have to call INdia to do tech support on myself!"

Flag quote open clear2
The price of stamps rose a penny! Sweet, I just made 20 cents on my pack of "forever stamps"!
This is
The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
May 12, 2008 The Colbert Report


  • Mothers' Day
    • put on a wig and a dress
      • got a free mimosa and a brunch
      • went home and watched "Psycho"
  • Terry McAuliffe
    • did his entire Meet The Press interview in one breath
      • something David Blaine could never do
    • threatened Tim Russert's father ever so veiledly

End of Cold WarEdit

  • continues if any walls remain in Berlin
  • your Cold War Update (Stephen discusses Red Menaces)

Threat Down!Edit

  • #5 Airlines!
    • flying jets slower
    • Stephen vows to only vacation where he can go by foot or family-pult
  • #4 Woman's softball!
    • women are a threat to sports
      • Sports does good for people: express violence and blind, regional hatred
  • #3 Keyboards!
    • five times the germs of toilet seats
    • Stephen wants to know who's rubbing their ass on our keyboards?
      • used to do it to John Stewart's keyboard all the time
    • if you do it, leave a note
  • #2 Isabella Rossellini!
    • trying to get Stephen to have sex with bugs
    • Stephen's policy: two eyes max.
  • #1 Bears!


Dr. Mehmet Oz, a friend of Oprah, who, apparently needs the big guns to sell his books!

  • book "You: Staying Young: The Owner's Manual for Extending Your Warranty "



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