The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 385

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
April 23, 2008
Production code:
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  • Penn Mother
"Hillary Clinton wins the Pennsylvania primary! I can't wait to see where she grew up in Indiana!"
  • I Can't Swim 55
"And, I give you tips with fitting in with the upper class! Although, if your bisson frise doesn't already have a monacle, you're beyond help!"
  • Wednesdays With Mitch
"Plus, I'll sit down with author, Mitch Albom! I hope he's already met these five people (raises clenched fist)!"

Flag quote open clear2
Nation, I am really under the gun! Seriously I stashed a pistol under my toupee!
This is
The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
April 23, 2008 The Colbert Report

The Big StoryEdit

  • Who will be the people's choice of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People
    • doesn't like to talk about it; it makes his other awards jealous
  • Still being beaten by Rain
    • how do you say "Boo" in Korean?
  • Kicking Bill Gates' ass
  • Oprah is losing to Tyler Perry
  • this Korean war will not end the last one with a sitcom starring Alan Alda
  • Rain made a video message to Stephen
    • tells him not to quit his day job
  • Stephen's Day Job
    • president of I Hate Rain Fan Club
  • Stephen challenges Rain to a dance off
    • or cuddle off
    • or spoon off

Other Big Contest In The NewsEdit

  • Who will win, will it be decisive
  • Obama is deep in the pocket of big douchebag
    • most successful product placement since McCain's Chuck E. Cheese
  • The Word Iraq The Vote

Colbert PlatinumEdit

  • not a platinum, change the channel, ABC is doing an hour of dog sweaters
  • Underwater car
  • Dinosaurs
  • Luxury Coffee
  • Next Time: Mythical Creatures: Why Can't I Buy One?




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