The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 383

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
April 21, 2008
Production code:
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  • All You Can't Eat
"Is the world running out of food!? That would explain Paul Newman's new line of 100% Organic Premium Ranch Nothing™!"
  • The Audacity of Pope
"Then The Pope visits America! I hear his Popemobile still has that new Pope smell!"
  • Belt Sanders
"And my guest Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont is the Senate's only Socialist, which means I have to nail every part of him equally!"

Flag quote open clear2
If I learned one thing from the Liberty Bell it's that crack is whack! Stay in school kids!
This is
The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
April 21, 2008 The Colbert Report

Looking Back At PhillyEdit

  • 900 people have nothing on Dr. Colbert's hometown Mob
  • The Pico building says "Philly Loves Colbert"

Great To Be BackEdit

  • missed Bobby
    • slept in Stephen's office to fend off the interns
      • Stephen said to stay awake in his office

Lost Stories During Landmark CampaignEdit

  • Food shortage!
  • Whole Foods sale on star fruit
  • causes
    • over population
    • climate change
      • distraction from Al Gore, he's eating everything
    • ethanol
    • HFCS (full serving of vegetables in starburst
  • Ted Turner's solution
    • cannibalism

2012 Presidential CoverageEdit

  • sponsored by Sour Creme and Man Flavored Doritos
  • CNN will be Cannibal News Network
  • Anderson 360 will be him roasting on a spit

The Pope's Visit To AmericaEdit

  • that whiff of infallibility is because the Pope came to America
  • Jews mad about reinstatement of prayer
  • Mass at Yankee Stadium
  • Father James Martin, author of My Life with the Saints


  • Bernie Sanders
    • claims to be the only socialist in the Senate
    • Stephen will get him to name names


  • Dr. Colbert wishes a special farewell to stage manager Bobby, who had tendered his resignation.
  • also saying goodbye to writer Eric Drysdale.
  • writers are a dime a dozen, but stage managers like Bobby are rare


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