The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 362

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
March 6, 2008
Production code:
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The Check-InEdit

Dr. Colbert discusses Hillary Rodham Clinton's turn around. Rodham rhymes with Saddam.

Perhaps she's mooslim?

The Jew doubts she might be mooslim.

Dr. Colbert finishes with some sage advice, to not allow them to put his mother in a burqa.


  • Protect America Axed
"House Democrats refuse to renew a wiretapping bill! Sounds like someone's got something to hide!"
  • Raging Dr. Colbert
"Then, news about cholesterol you don't want to miss! Unless you're having a heart attack, in which case, go to the hospital!"
  • Legend Meets Legend
"And my guest tonight is soul singer, John Legend! Careful ladies, don't look directly into my eyes, when I'm looking directly into his eyes!"

Flag quote open clear2
Daylight Savings Time starts Sunday. Maybe that will get us out of this daylight debt crisis...
This is
The Colbert Report.</center></div>
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~ Stephen Colbert
</center> <center>
<b>March 6, 2008</b> The Colbert Report

John McCain Gets GOP NominationEdit

    • Stephen punched holes in walls, workers
  • The Greatest President Ever endorsed McCain
    • from New York Times
    • they had a hot dog lunch alone with the president, a Presidential Hot Dog Lunch
      • Stephen has always wanted to break dog with him

Stephen has dreamed it for years

  • going through the tour with his family
  • Bush takes him aside
  • they share a dog
  • Stephen last remaining dream:
    • Presidential Apple Pie Rub Down

America's Health and SafetyEdit

  • Demoncrats don't care; they're blocking Protect America Act
    • placing innocent American dollars in jeopardy

Universal HealthcareEdit



Guest, John Legend played piano and sang "The Girl Is Mine" with Stephen, who wore a fetching white vest as images of Lady Liberty showed on Stephen's Big TV Screen

As they fought over who loves Lady Liberty more, Stephen promised to kick Legend's prom king ass.


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