Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
March 3, 2008
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  • White Man Can Bump
"I discuss the phenomenon of The Colbert Bump. If that sounds like a dance craze, that's because it should be!"
  • Oboe You Didn't
"Then the New York Philharmonic played North Korea. Luckily none of their instruments required electricity!"
  • Shushing Shashi
"And my guest, Shashi Tharoor has written a book about the modernization of India! I wonder who they call for tech support?"

Flag quote open clear2
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it could be a terrorist.
Shoot it either way...This is
The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
March 3, 2008 The Colbert Report

Texas and Ohio PrimariesEdit

  • Hillary Clinton's surge
  • New Obama scandal!
    • media has not scrutinized Obama
    • Shame on Barack Obama...for having the media not attack you!
      • Game's over!
  • Barack does not have the experience necessary to answer the phone at 3:00a.m.
  • Stephen's Jewish friend got a good get
    • went mano-a-wo-mano
  • Hillary did not get The Colbert Bump
    • Los Angeles Times
      • UC San Diego study candidates who appear receive 44% more money than candidates who don't
  • Stalin's rubies
  • Mao's Spiderman #1

North Koreans Get Philharmony TechnologyEdit

  • Kim Jong Il
    • Liza Minelli's stand-in
    • oil should be recovered from his hair
  • the New York Philharmonic visited without asking Dr. Colbert
    • North Koreans now have our Philharmonic technology
    • spicy pickled cabbage (opens Stephen up like cheap drano?)
  • Audience was government stooges
    • conductor was used thought he was saying (give it up for my rhythm section)
  • Maestro Loren Maazel


author of The Elephant, the Tiger and The Cellphone (Stephen can't wait for them to all walk into a bar)


  • Stephen is deleting pictures from his cellphone
    • Leap Day, February 29
      • like brigadoon gives us a free day of rent
    • not married
    • freaky 8-ways
    • obey the laws of gravity
  • What happens on Leap Day, stays on Leap Day


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