The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 330

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
October 31, 2007
Production code:
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  • From Pole to Poll
"I look at elections all over the world! I think Vladimir Putin has a chance of winning them all!"
  • Bush/Changey
"And I'll examine how Bush has reshaped the presidency! One thing is certain: all the brush is gone!"
  • Lawrence On Arabia
"Then my guest, Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson says the administration bungled the Iraq War! You know what they say: 'if at first you don't succeed, invade Iran'!"

Flag quote open clear2
This show is filmed in front of a dead studio audience!
This is
The Col-scare Report! (maniacal laugh)
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
October 31, 2007 The Colbert Report


Dr. Colbert believes we need to Hallo-ween ourselves off this holiday

  • childhood festival of highjinks, merriment and diabetes
    • costumes are lies that you wear
  • Pagan celebration of Panhandling
    • trick-or-treaters are pre-hobos
  • Un-Halloween
    • where one dresses up like a productive member of society
    • go to a real job
    • earn a paycheck to buy one's own damn candy
  • Dr. Colbert's Halloween Treats
    • bootstraps
    • Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged
      • the gift of rational self-interest as embodied by railroad executive Dagny Taggart
    • mousetrap (teach them not to trust strangers)

Democra-See Democra-doEdit

  • Argentina's first female president
    • Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner
    • senator, politically savvy wife of former president
  • Let's Invade Poland
    • President Lech Kaczynski
    • former Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski
    • new leaders want to
      • pull Poland's 300 troops from Iraq (no worries as long as Blackwater is in Iraq, it's a coalition)
      • invite small Polish Peasant's Party to form coalition
    • splitting the brothers up endangers their secret twin language

Dr. Colbert's CandidacyEdit

  • President of South Carolina
    • not willing to write $35,000 check to republican party
      • livers on the black market cost less than $35,000
    • stupid election laws apply if Dr. Colbert spends over $5,000 on campaign
  • the only thing missing from all Dr. Colbert's paperwork, tonight's The Word

Obama And GritsEdit

  • Dr. Colbert does indeed eat grits

Monkey on The LamEdit



Motherload VideosEdit

External LinksEdit

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