The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 289

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Production InfoEdit

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Date: July 26, 2007 Season:
Episode: 289 Production code: 3096
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  • Hemp My Farm
"North Dakota seeks to legalize hemp farming. The corn won't be the only thing as high as an elephant's eye."
  • Katmandon't
"Then, a Nepalese goddess is stripped of her title. That's OK, I've got a new god for them: God."
  • The Shrum Of All Fears
"Plus, I sit down with Democratic political strategist Bob Shrum. I'll ask him if he advised Kerry to fip or to flop."

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Hey, semi colon; Comma or colon? Pick a side; we're at war. This is The Colbert Report.
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~ Stephen Colbert
July 26, 2007 The Colbert Report

News From North DakotaEdit


  • Hemp
    • used in making cloth and ropes
    • Thomas Jefferson was high when he wrote the Constitution
    • Donner Party disaster caused by munchies from hemp-covered Conestoga wagons
    • Department of Agriculture promoted it
  • North Dakotans want to grow hemp
  • Aaron Houston
    • Hemp expert
    • Doritos (dipped in marshmallow Fluff!)

Advice To The GodsEdit

  • Nepal
    • believe America is unclean
    • Nepal's primary industry is carrying
    • they think they're too good for rectangles
    • they have no Pledge of Allegiance




Dr. Colbert checks the time remaining with the watch on his extra arm to confirm it is time to say goodbye.

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