Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
Date: July 16, 2007 Season:
Episode: 282 Production code: 3089
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit

Stephen tells Jon what he didn't do during the break:

  • beach
  • hedge fund
  • juggle 5 bowling balls
  • compare Brontë sisters



  • Rent To Bemoan
"Having gays move into your neighborhood may increase property values. Which will come in handy when you immediately sell your house."
  • Girl Empower
"Then, I profile a Difference Maker who's boosting women's self-esteem. Two can play at that game: Lookin' good tonight, ladies."
  • Nelson Manhandled
"Plus, my guest, Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson has a plan for Iraq. I assume it involves shipping corn over there."

Flag quote open clear2
Did you miss me? I know, I missed me too. This is The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
July 16, 2007 The Colbert Report

Stephen's Plan to Rescue ScooterEdit

  • Stephen bought supplies:
  • obtained a canary, which he later ate due to a shortage of Luna bars
  • dug a tunnel from his garage to Scooter's cell
  • Read Scooter's book The Apprentice during the long, lonely nights

Sentenced commuted by George W. Bush

The Pope and Catholicism's SuperiorityEdit

Quote open clear3 ...other Christian communities are either defective or not true churches and Catholicism provides the only true path to salvation. Quote close clear2
~The Pope

Tough break, Protestants.

Property and Homos and Housing ValuesEdit

The Bohemian-Gay Index (another name for the San Francisco phone book)

Difference MakersEdit

Before introducing the latest Difference Maker, Stephen reveals he was voted Least Misogynistic by his all-male country club.

The Difference MakerEdit




Write your Congressman and encourage him to sign legislation moving midnight back by five minutes so Stephen will have ample time to say goodnight after The Report airs.

Motherload VideosEdit

Windows-media-icon (Windows Media) Edit

External LinksEdit

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Reviews and CommentsEdit


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