The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 2

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Production InfoEdit

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Date: October 18, 2005 Season: 1 Episode: 2 Production code: 102
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  • Drop the Prom
"Million dollar proms. Are we shortchanging our children?"
  • Heir Danes
"Plus, meet the newborn Danish prince 18 years before he snorts coke from a model's navel."
  • Monkey Wrench
"And apes are using tools. Why can't you build that IKEA chair?"
  • Stahl Tactics
"Finally, I'll give 60 Minutes correspondent Lesley Stahl the 6 minutes she's always dreamed about."
Flag quote open clear2
Put some pants on, America. The Truth is knocking at the door. Here comes The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
October 18, 2005 The Colbert Report

Ted Koppel Yanked From NightlineEdit

The WørdEdit

All You Need To KnowEdit

  • Illegal Immigration: The grass seed goes down in the spring, the weed killer in the fall.
  • Nintendo/McDonald's partnership: You're gonna need some bigger pants.
  • Wednesday's $340 million PowerBall jackpot: 5, 87, 33, 6, 21 & ? - that's your job.

All The Prince Of Denmark Needs To KnowEdit

  • Neither a borrower nor a lender be, to thine own self be true, and your girlfriend Ophelia? Psycho.



Leslie Stahl

Today's PollEdit

  • Should this person be allowed to immigrate to the United States?
  • YES he should                   5%
  • NO he shouldn't                  8%
  • Is that the same as
emigrate? One is coming
and one is going, right?      87%

Better Know A District Part 1 of 435Edit


Freedom QuotesEdit

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You know I wanted to end this show by sayin "Stay strong America" but the network's pushing hard for "Stay tuned for Adam Carolla. Well, you gotta pick your battles, so I'll just say "Say Strong for Adam Carolla.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
October 18, 2005 The Colbert Report



Windows-media-icon Leslie Stahl


Reviews and CommentsEdit


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