Fandom

Wikiality

The Colbert Report/Episode/592

< The Colbert Report | Episode

12,424pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Production InfoEdit

FlyingEaglePREV
Previous Episode
Date:
July 28, 2009
Season:
Season5
Episode:
592
Production code:
5101
FlyingEagleNEXT
Next Episode


IntroEdit

Show began without Statements of Truthiness


Obama's Anti-Learning BiasEdit

  • after rage-voguing and a quick sample from a medium-fine Sharpie, Sir Dr. Colbert enjoys a quick Stephen! Stephen! chant from his mob
    • which was surprising because he didn't know there was an audience with him tonight
  • this all started when Crowley arrested Gates in the act of being in his own home
    • Gates' fingerprints were everywhere
  • Obama made the mistake of involving himself in a city-specific issue, which The Greatest President Ever never made
    • no matter how flooded the city got

Where Was Obama Born?Edit

  • America faces many questions
    • why can't a monkey get a driver's license?
      • even if that monkey can maneuver through Stephen's home obstacle course
  • one thing every American knows for sure:
    • Barack Obama was not born in the United States
      • making him Constitutionally ineligible to serve as President
  • Stephen is a proud member of the Birther Movement
    • which is made up of decent, old-fashioned Americans who only want to overturn a democratic election
  • On July 27, 2009, the Birther Movement made it all the way to the White House
    • via the Press Briefing when Robert Gibbs said there was nothing he could do to get rid of them because,
"... for $15, you can get an Internet address and say whatever you want."[1]

In The NurseryEdit

  • Stephen begins the Report in the Colbert Report Nursery
    • where he reports on all the babies born in America, including Presidential births
    • he even performs brises when needed
    • and protects America from Guam babies (by stamping their foreheads for future identification)
  • Evidence: high volume of Presidential Fraud Claims
    • being yelled At a high volume
  • Evidence: Obama's Birth Certificate

The Stakes Are HighEdit

"Whereas the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961[3]"
  • this would have been a blow to the birther movement had it taken place in the United States instead of the District of Columbia, which obviously isn't a state; it's only a district
  • World Net Daily is offering $10,000 for anyone who witnessed Obama's birth
    • whether it took place in Hawaii
      • or elsewhere
    • finally evidence more reliable than a government document: someone willing to say something for $10,000!
  • Stephen would only be satisfied when he hears from one of the sperm that was there when Obama was conceived
    • there were over 150,000,000 present at the time and not one has yet to come forward
    • if you are one of the 150,000,000 sperm there, Stephen would like to know what you heard:
      • ukulele music or tribal drums
      • how many times did you hear the name "King Kamehameha" or the phrase "Book 'em, Dano!"
  • America cannot allow a Kenyan to lead us, we have to take him down
    • after the break

After The BreakEdit

  • the mother of the birther movement, Orly Taitz
    • has not been afraid to take this issue head on
    • both parents must be citizens
      • may not be in the Constitution, but it is a basic fact taught to every school child who grew up with Ms. Taitz in the Soviet Union
  • too many Republicans holding elected office will not back Ms. Taitz, however, Sir Dr. Colbert agrees with her that,
    • Obama is a terrible president
    • and we have to have him removed from office by any weird loophole we can make up
  • They agree that the name "birther" implies Obama was birthed
    • Stephen will only be satisfied when he can feel bellybutton lint on his finger
      • Ms. Taitz agrees that this is an important point

SEGMENT3Edit

  • MAIN POINT/LINK
    • SUBLINK1
    • SUBLINK2

InterviewEdit

EpilogueEdit

IF A Epilogue OCCURS, SUMMARIZE IT HERE, OTHERWISE DELETE SECTION

GalleryEdit

Official Truthy VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit

EmmyAwardWinningTCR2

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki