The Colbert Report/Episode/582

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
July 2, 2009
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  • Hot House
  • Omission Accomplished
  • Man vs. Riled

Flag quote open clear2
Next week it's reruns! I'll still be here doing the show, but the cameras will be on vacatipon!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
July 2, 2009 The Colbert Report


  • Dr. Colbert everyday he's banging balls with his competitors
  • he was scooped and spooned by Anderson Cooper
    • got the Chimpsclusive
  • Stephen is so mad he could throw his own feces
  • CNN found Bubbles in a nature preserve in Florida
  • Saddam had a pet named Kalid Sheik Muhamster


  • when he was

went thru environmental puberty

    • his globes have descended

  • scientists show us many things when their research isn't censored
  • Colbert Report Green
  • the house passed a energy bill
    • American Clean Energy & Security Act
      • John Boehner called it "this pile of trash"
  • GOP representatives called it a job killer
  • Congressional Budget Office calculated that it would cost everyone $175
  • Energy Secretary Chu recommended painting rooftops white
  • the perfect amount of sacrifice is someone else's
    • the source of all our heat
  • time to put out the sun
    • dangerous unchecked nuculer power in our neighborhood
  • for every breathe you take in, breath out twice
    • if we create enough CO2, we can put out the sun
  • do it so we don't have to stop doing anything we're doing right now


  • Dr. Colbert shares more behind-the-scenes
  • A Colbert Report, Re-Report


  • all over 26,000 feet
    • took 18 years
  • he got as close as 300 feet to the peak of Everest without going all the way
  • he is anti-sea-levelist
  • beautiful
  • fewer people
  • intriguing
  • has climbed Mt. Everest 7 times
    • 10 times and the 11th is free
  • can stay at the top 3 minutes to 1 hour
  • can get crowded
    • sometimes there can be 80 people
  • the top of Everest is about as big as The Colbert Report table
  • there may be a Cinnabon on Everest
  • the Colbert Nation Flag reached the summit of Everest
    • it was like Stephen went there too!
  • without oxygen one is slower physically and mentally
  • never earned anything less or deserved more than having The Colbert Nation flag planted at the peak of Everest


  • Dr. Colbert wishes The Heroes a good night and that he'll see us at the bar!


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