The Colbert Report/Episode/578

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
June 25, 2009
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  • Gay Slights Parade
  • ABC (D)
  • Gay's Autonomy

Flag quote open clear2
Hey, yogurt! If you're so cultured, why don't I see you at the opera!?
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
June 25, 2009 The Colbert Report


  • Dr. Colbert says it's good to have everyone with him
    • and announces they will do another show
  • show 575?
  • Secular Suzies are up in arms over internets video showing exorcising teh
  • America's Least Tolerant Home Videos
  • a gay demon is on the lose!
  • protect from gay demons
    • straight Bible
    • cordless drill
    • autographed photo of Charlie Sheen


  • President Obama is doing something Stephen endorses
    • hating on gays
  • dan Savage gives Obama an "F"
  • Obama justice department argued in favor of keeping doma
  • Stephen can explain Obama's behavior
  • Tonight's word:Stonewalling
  • before then, there was no gay TV, etc
  • in 1960's gays were confirmed bachelors
    • police raided June 28, 1969
  • angry mob gathered to protest
    • gays got what they wanted: parades
  • Obama is putting it off for a while:
    • stonewalling
    • engage in delaying tactics; to stall
  • Obama is considering openly gay man to run Pentagon museum
    • gave gays moving expenses
  • he's giving gays things
    • just not your rights
  • dad promises you a puppy
    • but instead of buying a puppy, he buys you:
      • dog house
      • a leash, etc
  • we're here, we're queer, they'll get to us eventually


  • mark your calendars
    • June 24, 2009 journalism died
      • it was murdered
  • Dr. Colbert didn't like ABC's prime time
    • the only way to save your wife and daughter is to rape an kill Kitty Dukakis
  • FOX called it a glorified infomercial
  • America should shove down its throat is Sierra Mist
    • turn your head and quench!
  • GOP proposed their own health plan
    • ABC could not stop everyone
  • television legend Stephen Colbert covered it!
    • fantastic new product
  • tax savings
  • tax credits
  • tax ...
  • alternative to funeral costs when a loved one dies from lack of healthcare
  • no mandate to provide any insurance
  • four easy payments of
    • I Have no idea .99!
  • also picks up spills
  • if you act now, you get a bonus Goslin
    • limited to the first 8 callers


  • what was stonewall?
    • end of the sixties
  • The Stonewall was a mafia bar
    • sleazy dive
  • Friday hot night
    • came for payoff
  • bar patrons made fun of the cops
  • a woman was arrested
  • it took a lesbian fought for gay rights
  • they don't have different agendas
  • gay people are upset with Obama
    • believes many gays voted for Obama
  • Obama plays typical liberal role:
    • wait, wait
  • Stephen invites the gays to come over to the conservatives
    • they are honest and will tell them "no"
  • is deeply troubling
    • will ask Cornell West
      • Obama is wrong, but will come along
  • who is the leader of the gay rights movement?
    • Martin Luther Queen?
  • very diverse community
    • someone in every community


  • Dr. Colbert did the entire show in one breath!
    • Randall owes him five bucks!


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