The Colbert Report/Episode/570

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Production Info Edit

Previous Episode
June 11, 2009
Production code:
Next Episode

Intro Edit

This is "Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando!"
Broadcasting from Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq!


  • it has been a life-changing experience for all of them
  • Private Colbert claim this week as service
  • golf club is in homage to Bob Hope
    • Bob Hope did USO shows for 250 years
  • Iraq is the biggest sand trap in the whole world
  • no alcohol
    • doesn't want to shout Hoo-ah with a hangover

Colbert Report Baghdad Shout-Out Edit

  • The Greatest President Ever
    • on behalf of he and Laura
    • referred to the WHCDA


  • not everyone can do what they do
  • elite 1% of Americans who still have jobs
  • nobody's jobs is safe
  • allowed himself to be recruited by the Air Force Thunderbirds
    • Fallback Position
  • Lt. Col. Greg Thomas
    • Stephen has been a fan since he was a child
  • world's greatest job he could ever have
  • criteria
    • serve your country in the Air Force
      • served in the Hair Force
    • above average physical fitness
    • picture
  • will have to take him up in an airplane to see what he can do
    • Doesn't throw up easily; he's worked with Wolf Blitzer
  • his wingman,
  • Stephen was instructed not to touch anything
    • there was a Sky Mall catalog
    • Wendy's Chili
    • and Taco Bell served drinks
  • Stephen did not vomit
    • his stomach hyperventilated
  • after landing he proudly displayed his two bags of not-vomit
    • and kissed the ground

Colbert Report Baghdad Shout-Out Edit

  • Senator Jim Webb


  • Wag to the Miers convicted for spying for Cuba
    • Cuba is so poor they're still driving Chryslers
  • Tip to FDA
    • approving at-home lasers for removing wrinkles
  • Tip to private military contractor KBR for building Private Colbert's
    • M1 tank
    • aircraft carrier
    • squadron of port-a-potties
  • also built Stephen's desk
    • he's concerned about the wiring
  • you get what you paid for
    • the desk cost $116 million

Interview Edit

  • top enlisted man in Iraq
    • Sergeant Major Frank Griffe(sp)
  • don't call him Frances
  • he's the top enlisted man
    • command sergeant major
  • Sec of Army calls 2009 the year of the enlisted man
    • NCO (non-commissioned officers)
  • NCOs are the backbone of the Army and the dept of defense
  • what makes the American soldier the greatest?
    • we always win
    • top 3% of American society
  • some of the stuff he does he can't talk about
  • he likes Stephen's suit
  • the emblem on Stephen's suit doesn't denote rank, but which direction is up
  • a few hundred other Sgt. Maj
    • had to wrestle them
  • pictures of the top guys
    • Odierno & Jacoby are smiling; he is scowling
  • he can order any them to do anything
    • he ordered them to
      • put their right hands in
      • put their right hands out
  • he cannot get them to do the hokey pokey
    • won't do it in front of the camera
  • he would like to order them to sing the Army song

Epilogue Edit

  • Private Colbert thanked the USO and the whole staff
    • the ones who stayed in New York and woke up at 2 am to make sure everything worked and the ones who traveled to Iraq
  • it's insufficient to say "thank you"
    • and inappropriate to say "holy sh*t!"
  • he will say what he hopes everyone will get to say soon, "Honey, I'm comin' home!"

Gallery Edit

Official Truthy Videos Edit

External Tubes Edit

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Reviews and Comments Edit


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