The Colbert Report/Episode/567
won a 2009 "Truthie"
for Best Episode of 2009
See all the winners here.

Production Info Edit

Previous Episode
June 8, 2009
Production code:
Next Episode

Intro Edit

Dr. Colbert started off by reviewing how he ended last Thursday's show.

The clip begins with Dr. Colbert ending another fantastic episode, receiving adulation from various grateful members of the crew, he heads to his office to find a mysterious note taped to his office door. It is written on "Tek Jansen" stationary and contains a cryptic message:


Just as he finishes reading it, a tranquilizer dart is shot into his neck and his fall is broken by three shadowy figures, who drag him off.

Stephen's luscious hair is matted against the window of a dark sedan as it drives away to points unknown.

As the dark sedan drives through a nondescript tunnel, Stephen awakens with a start, proclaiming "I'm not fat!" Stephen's attempts to engage the driver in small talk, perhaps to discern his destination, are to no avail; the driver is silent. Luckily, Stephen remembers that if one is headed to Saudi Arabia one always takes the Holland Tunnel, which they pass. He can now scratch it off his list.

While on the plane, he ordered an item from the Sky Mall catalog and tries o figure out where he's going by looking out the window, but he is foiled again.

After his eventful evening, Dr. Colbert asks the desk clerk at the hotel he's staying at where he can find the bar. The clerk informs him that alcohol is not served where he is and he scratches "Margaritaville" off his list.

Soon, he boards a very large troop transport and tells a fellow passenger that he hopes he can order a Kosher meal. The passenger shakes his head "no," and Stephen scratches another destination off his list (Israel). With this new information, he can, however, put a question mark next to one of the possibilities ("Mel Gibson's House").

Finally, the giant troop transport lands and as Stephen deplanes a shoe is thrown at him revealing his destination: Iraq!

This is "Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando!"
Broadcasting from Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq!


  • Dr. Colbert greeted the troops a la Bob Hope
    • behind a ribbon mike and holding a golf club
  • Iraq, the country so nice, we invaded it twice
  • Iraq is so hot that when Saddam Hussein got to hell, he asked for a blanket
  • Al Faw, the Water Palace, because that's the only drink you can get
    • no alcohol
  • reminds him of The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Colbert Report Baghdad Shout-Out Edit


  • old white men v old latina women
  • old lady who keeps firing rockets into the Pacific Ocean
  • Jon & Kate + 130,000
  • his doctor said he
  • cook a microwave burrito in his pants
  • eliminated wmd
  • ended Saddam's rule
  • allowed Iraq's to write their own constitution
  • turned chaos into triumph
  • Why isn't it over
    • the rules says it's not over until someone declares victory
  • generals haven't declared victory yet
  • Stephen officially declare we won the Iraq war

Stephen Strong: Army Of Me Edit

  • Dr. Colbert respect military men and women
    • he went to basic training (all 10 hours of it)
  • just like any other recruit
  • Fort Jackson, South Carolina
  • emptying Stephen's bag, the Drill Sergeant found:
    • exfoliating loufa
    • Jonas Brothers poster
  • Drill Sergeant made Stephen do 10 push-ups
  • he made the mistake of quoting "An Officer and a Gentleman"
  • tomorrow the journey continues ...

Interview Edit

  • General Ray Odierno
    • comanding general of multi-national force in Iraq
      • better be able to clap and salute at the same time
  • Stephen is intimidated
    • feels like he is interviewing Shrek
  • he says they're not ready to declare victory
  • more work to do with the government of Iraq
  • Stephen thought we won, because he hadn't heard anything on the news
  • what's happening in Iraq that people at home need to know
    • long-term stability
    • positive stories
    • progress
  • doesn't think that Stephen's basic training was not realistic
  • he said Stephen had hair, which needed to be cut
    • and insisted he get it cut
  • President Hussein Obama appeared on the big screen
    • Stephen thanked him
    • the satellites are not that big, but his ears are
  • Obama agreed with the General, then ordered him to cut Stephen's hair
  • Stephen cut to commercial just as the general carved into America's Greatest Luscious Head Of Hair Ever

Epilogue Edit

  • Dr. Colbert came back sitting in the middle of the audience with his freshly shorn head to thank the USO and General Odierno

Gallery Edit

Official Truthy Videos Edit

External Tubes Edit

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Reviews and Comments Edit


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