The Colbert Report/Episode/551

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
May 4, 2009
Production code:
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The program started without the Statements of Truthiness

Obama To Pick Supreme Court JudgeEdit

  • with holding judgment
    • to be an impartial judge at his impeachment trial
  • Souter 18 years on the bench
    • retires
  • Stephen has never heard of it before
    • the intellectual identification of ...
  • Thomas already identifies with another (Scalia)
  • empathy is code for activist judge
  • jurisprudential social engineering
  • Dr. Colbert tried to crack the code
    • Meth pay
    • ape myth
    • Ham type
  • drug addled evolutionist with swine flu
  • playing Biden's speeches backwards; they make more sense

The Importance Of Strategic BailoutsEdit

  • Chrysler declared bankruptcy
    • close plants temporarily
  • will restructure after being bought by Fiat
  • America's Friendly Neighborhood Conglomerate transnational
  • Brother Can You Spare $83-Billion?
  • write your Congressman and tell them to support the bailout for Prescott
    • if we go down, we're taking you with us

Movies That Are Destroying America, Summer EditionEdit

  • doesn't have the attention span to ...
    • it's weird that that camera has a light on it
  • X-Men Origins:Wolverine
    • pretty dang cool
    • pretty to make anything behind him blow up
    • typical Hollywood
  • The Proposal
    • Sandra Bullock plays an immigrant taking an American hunk
  • Up
    • presents fantastic solution to Social Security problem
      • tie old people balloons and let them float away
    • limited marketing appeal
  • (new) Star Trek
    • fans wonder how it will fit in with the rest of the pantheon
    • borrows from a Turkish film, "Turist Ömer Uzay Yolu'nda"


  • J.J. Abrams
    • he is the director of the new Star Trek movie, Dr. Colbert is about to go on a five minute mission to nail him!
  • the movie is described as a departure from the normal continuum of the series
    • which carries a death sentence
      • the fans will tie him down and put one of those worms from Seti Alpha 5 in his ear
  • how did he direct Spock?
  • there may be photos of him in the captains chair buck naked
  • he knows, and has hidden a puzzle
    • in the opening credits, the Patriotic Adjective was 346x
    • "283h" "433U" were printed on Abram's mug
    • some script (not Arabic) was printed on the back of Stephen's cards
  • The Romulan Stephen Colbert appeared on Dr. Colbert's Big TV
    • The password is Buttercup


  • Dr. Colbert wants The Heroes to remember that every great American's interactive adventure begins on
    • full Colbert experience, from "A" to "T" (there's been some budget cuts)


Official Truthy VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

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