The Colbert Report/Episode/550

< The Colbert Report | Episode

12,431pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
April 30, 2009
Production code:
Next Episode


  • The O's C
"President Obama completes his first 100 days! Took him long enough!"
  • The Bong Show
"And my guest is drug legalization advocate Ethan Nadelmann! No one tell him I'm wearing a wire!"

Flag quote open clear2
I don't know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, but it takes 12,809 licks to get to the center of an iPhone!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
April 30, 2009 The Colbert Report


  • it sounded like "Moose"
    • Dr. Colbert's nickname in high school (he was so bulked up)
  • single Windsor knot
    • pretty racy
      • also wearing a single Windsor thong
  • hard to keep any job for 100 days
  • sensuous tongue bath
    • dangerous during a time of swine flu
  • now there's a horse flu!
  • some reporters neglected to wear a face mask when kissing Obama's bum
    • tough reporter for New York Times
  • profoundly
    • US military is the most enchanting
  • the land of 1,001 Arabian nights
    • play the pan flute
  • capture a sprite who will grant Stephen's wish for a war with Iran
  • not just for focusing on first 100 days are
    • also how meaningless the first 100 days are
  • healthiest skepticism from CBS evening news
    • innovations
  • old fashioned and pretty arbitrary
  • new exclusive methodology
  • President Obama: The First 14 Mondays
  • time honored way for judging
    • ever since Stephen yanked it out of his ass 15 seconds ago
  • true test of a president's mettle
    • Garfield's worst nightmare
  • serious case of the Mondays
    • February 15th
  • March 9th
    • singing executive order for stem cells research
      • wants to find cure for whatever's wrong with Joe Biden
  • Millard Fillmore's Tuesdays
  • NIxon's secret days he added to keep the Jews from controlling them


  • working on Obama: the First three full moons
    • is he a werewolf
  • 7th law of arbitrariness
  • FDR set the gold standard
    • his first Monday
  • how would compare FDR with Obama
  • FDR had a panic attack
  • violate all the traffic laws
    • ever since Presidents don't have to stop at traffic lights
  • 9th Monday ordered Americans to surrender all their gold
  • has not accomplished as much as FDR, but he's in his league
    • FDR did not play basketball
  • first regulation of Wall Street ever
    • and last
  • first national service program
  • first farm program
  • Social Security didn't happen for a couple years


  • might be a flashback
  • start Dark Side of the Moon ... now!
  • doesn't want to give anything to Stephen's kids
  • soft on crime
    • he calls it "smart" on crime
  • smoking a joint and whatever
    • huge loophole
    • freebase monkey brain
  • 40% say treat it like alcohol
    • he estimates 90% of The Heroes
      • applause means nothing; they're high
  • cannot compare alcohol with drugs
    • alcohol makes people courageous
  • compares border violence to Chicago during prohibition
  • tax and regulate
    • tax and toke liberals
  • used to be just about the weed, he has sold out
  • free market should decide primo bud
  • he is a criminal and none of his
    • smoked it when he has watched Dr. Colbert's show, but never while being interviewed
      • not on him
  • lots of politicians say let's have a debate
    • he says Congress is afraid
  • Stephen agrees we should have an open, public debate in Congress and public square
    • as long as we don't talk about torture


  • Dr. Colbert says to be sure to stick around for the after the show show, which is actually just Monday night's show


Official Truthy VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit


Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki